to those who are very curious of what i've been doing at home. i dont jus make cookies. i make my own milkshake using avocado..yummy! it's good for cholesterol and complexion (which i believe). ha! though i didnt manage to find anything scientific to prove it yet, still people do produce it as facial foam rite. so it cant be that far off lah. - according to FKX's theory.

ingredients: 1 avocado (of cos), 1 cup of low-fat milk, sugar, ice-cubes. and then jus grind, shake and mix them all up using the machine and ta-da! the FRESH avocado milkshake is ready to be served. =)it was raining cats and dogs early in the morning. the atmosphere was dull and everything seemed to be very still. the mood was gloomy. the rain was so heavy that i could hardly see my fingers when i stretched them out.

people always say sunshine after the rain. and i thought for a while...yes, i found my sunshine! he was there when i was so down and discouraged. he has always been there for me to tolerate my nonsense and remind me to be strong. the sun is out and i'm smiling again. this is how we communicate on msn. woohoo! i have a love-hate relationship with technology.the sunshine i was talking about! =) when the sun was out the next day, we met up for dinner at northpoint. it may sound bizarre to you but yes, i always love the idea of him coming to my turf. it make me feel appreciated and important cos he has made an effort from the west to come meet me in the north. haha! sounds silly and selfish but yes, i'm lovin' it! being the greedy me, i wanted to ask for more but i guess i shouldnt, jus like this is good enough for now.

we went to watch movie the next day. it was quite an enjoyable day initially but after that, i spent my day worrying for him. my mind was in a whirlpool. lots of thoughts jus flashed across my head. seeing him suffering such an excruciating pain makes my heart aches.

to the appendix-less: please do get well soon and we shall start our cam-whoring all over again! =)

cheers!

SIGNS

jus wan to share this short film. it's really sweet, isnt it?

i guess all i have to say is cherish your loved ones like you will never see them again. let your actions speak; tell them how much you love them today and... everyday!

these days, i was thinking about life, humans, you and me. it seems like we are robots ourselves but of cos with emotions.

when our parents bring us into this world, they have already "programmed" us with their DNA strands. they bring us up and nurture us; hope that one day we are all able to live up to their expectations. being an elite in sgp is jus simply not enough. in such a competitive climate, we have to be the cream of crop; THE elite among the pool of elites.

we wake up every morning to prepare to go to work. after eight hours of slogging in the office, we go back home to rest and we do that for the next four or five days before the weekends arrive. then we re-energise ourselves before we start the cycle all over again. this is what 16 0r 17 years of education has taught us or led us to be.

doesnt this sound like a cycle? we came to this world to receive education before we can contribute to the economy. to be a useful person, one has to achieve first class honors and only that it is considered successful. but touch your heart, are you really happy?

or have you forgotten what is happiness? achievements only bring you this much of satisfactory and this much of joy in your life. so what really makes you happy?

tathump..tathump..tathump..tathumptathumptathumptathump.. my racing heart. just feel that i've irregular heartbeat. sometimes, it is jogging, and sometimes running. other times, it sprints.

recently, i've started baking and i made cookies. =) and oh by the way, they are super edible okay! my first attempt was pretty successful. my parents and sis said that they were quite nice to eat but kind of sweet.

so, on my second attempt, i made sugar-free and preservative-free milo cookies. haha! but it didn't go so well. there is no milo taste at all.. dotz

like what i was told by the people around me, don't give up! my next plan is to make cashew and walnut cookies. hmm..maybe also cereal cookies and that is if i steal from my mom. haha..healthy cookies for the Fangs! oh but poor thing, they have to keep eating the cookies till i got tired of baking or occupied with something else. hopefully, they dont beg me to stop baking..ha!

anyway, any takers for my cookies? i make healthy cookies. smiles!

april is arriving in one day's time. another month has gone by and i've yet to settle down.

the wait is excruciating. it feeds on my happiness and joy, killing me day by day. my heart is left (not at outram park) in the cold after being rip-opened.

jus as the smile is fading, there is some unknown forces bringing the two eyebrows together. laughters seem so distant to me now. suddenly, my cheeks are burning hot. my vision is blurred. what is ahead of me, i cant be sure.

i need to be strong. people always say that you have to go through the dark before you can see the first ray of light. that's the darkest moment. i am struggling to see the light. i have to fight the darkness and brave through the storm.

anyway, thank you so much to those who have been reading my blog to get my latest, making sure i'm alright. i'm lucky to have so many concerned friends. =)

honestly, i'm not. everyday is painful, so stressful. sometimes, tears can just well up. but somehow, i manage to control them. oh well, i know it's not very smart but i'm just not used to cry in front of people. sometimes, i guess i've just have to learn to share my feelings verbally, not by blogging it.

emo is my middle name.

i'm tired, both mentally and physically. all i know is i'm really exhausted.

went for the head over heels run yesterday morning and i completed the 8km. it's some sort of achievement because firstly i've never joined any race before. secondly, i managed to finish jogging the 8km without stopping. though to those who are veteran runners, 8km is no kick. still, i'm so proud of myself (haha!).

i finally knew what is determination and the sense of achievement. when you're tired of running, you will feel like stop. to prevent yourself from giving up, you got to be strong in your mind. you have to keep encouraging yourself. i remembered the last part of the race when we had to run round the cable ski, i started cursing (wah, f*cking big round!) in my mind. but still, with self-determination and having someone beside you who didn't give up, it makes you, or rather me, to run with him. so we went round the cable ski and that was at the 7th km. a few minutes later, i saw a banner getting bigger and the words on it getting clearer. start/finish was written on it. oh my gosh, at that moment somehow but you dont know how, somewhere but you dont know where, you had more energy to run a bit faster. and finally, i finished the run. it's just so darn cool!

WARNING:

the following blog post is vulgar. to those who havent hear them before, you still cant hear them. just read on. to those who doesnt like me scolding vulgarities, too bad! just close your window or navigate away from this blog.

i'm blardy pissed now. what is the hell wrong with you?! why didnt you just farking share your thoughts and feelings? i'm jus freaking tired of fishing things out of your mouth. you can happily just get those farking information out of your mouth to others but not me! are we still family? why are you keeping things away from me? if you guys want to know, why dont you just come straight to my face and ask me?! since you guys dont want to come and ask me, i will not tell you guys either. i hate messengers! so dont farking get a messenger and think that i will tell her who will in turn pass you messages and information.

by the way, how many times must i repeat myself. stop farking sharing my things with others! i've already mentioned this to him and why didnt it just get into your farking brain. just freaking brushed them off. i hate to be the topic now, can! fucked up manz!

to those farked up people, if you guys want to know what the hell wrong with my screwed-up life, just come and ask me. stop poking your nose around and blardy transfer information like that. i really hate it! honestly, totally disgusted about it. as of now, i feel like telling you guys to farking live your own life and mind your blardy own business. screw you! this is not showing concern lor. it is freaking busybody alright. for your information, my surname is FANG and not yours. so please dont come and claim that we are one family, okay. we are family but not immediate family memebers, mind you.

second issue that really pissed me off. really, just fark off! why is it always this period of the year? if you just blardy live your own life, shut the fark up and leave us alone. the sight of you people disgust me. i hate march and may. just farking get out of my freaking life!

i'm giving him face for now so i suppress my true feelings. come to think about it, he knows i hate you busybody. but i really dont farking give a damn. dont go overboard else i will really make you guys shut up one fine day.

trust me.

This is a loooong blog. Please spare some time to read because it is really worth the read till the end....

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again, I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But still, I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!" That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.

I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

One morning, she was choosing what to wear. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore." She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said.. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more."

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

i'm starting to feel pity for the kids.

i went swimming yesterday morning. it was crowded since there were many primary kids and senior citizens (haha..find myself so out of place). well, there were a few youngsters lahz. when i was resting by the side, a group of young kids, at most primary 4, sat beside me. The swimming coach was teaching some starfish style. she wanted to do a demonstrate so picked on this particular boy. as we were all in the deep pool, naturally there would be some phobia. unfortunately, this female coach wasnt very nice. when the kid had already expressed his fear, saying "i'm scared." she shouted at him and said "down!" obediently, the boy did as what he was told.

poor boy! i think the coach is very mean. i'm not implying that she should just not let the boy demonstrate. i feel that she should at least reassure him that she is there to lookout for him and he can be sure that she will keep him safe. shouting at him makes him more frightful. so horrible of her!

i would rather buy my kid a swimming float than engaging such coach with no compassion. haha..i'm just kidding!

no plans. no plans. no plans. run! dance!

wow, i havent update the blog since last Sunday! been a hectic yet fun week. two major events happened this week.

first and for most, it's damien's bday week.


c-towners, or rather his Marc Jacobs and poker kakis, held a birthday celebration for him at dblO. it was fun (minus the... ... yarps, haha!)

i am not very good at buying gifts so i bought him Mickey Mouse bedsheets (strange right!), beer mug and made him a video!

the second event that happened this week was Sheares Production! this year was even better than last year cos at least when i stayed up late, it's not for the fact that i had to count and tally the money. it was cos' i wanted to keep myself awake to watch definitely maybe and socialize with the rest of the exco.

i'm so glad that this year's production is over and elated that it is a great success. on the contrary, it marks the end of my hall life. thinking back, i guess i've never regret staying in hall because that is the place where i meet my caring neighbor, my travelling buddies and damien.

joined the guitar hero world tour challenge with kk and qi. it was super fun yet embarrassing. we kept failing because we were kinda tone-deaf. eh...probably it's just me lah. haha..i cant believe it! i must learn guitar. *hint hint damien, please do your job well this holi (haha).then after the challenge, we went to play wii. looked like kk and qi havinglots of fun playing tennis. and qi served. kk always win us. argh! he kept boasting about his skills and that he played the real tennis. alright, fine! whatever! hurray, you win!after that we went lerk thai. i finally get to eat my salad! yay! after multiples of self-phototaking, i concluded that my skill deteriorates. kk managed to take the best photos (among my lousy ones) while he was chatting on the phone.
the service not bad actually. the waitress offered to help us take picture. oh, hendry. now you are the missing one. bleah! get a life and stop doing project on Sundays. it sucks!
anyway, i think kk is going to hate me. but still, i believe he will forgive me de right. we are the same kind of people - zhong se qing you. haha..okay okay, i shant rub into it. hope you have a great trip..erm i mean, training in taiwan. i try to save up and go find you when u're at taiwan. haha..if i save =)

sianz! didnt get to go IT fair. wanted to check out wii and buy there. so many things i wanted to buy. now have to wait till june. *yawns! okay lah, i shant complain. at least it's a good excuse to distract me so that i wont overspend.

hmm..come to think about it, i think i've been very "thrifty". i've such a screwed up mealtime recently. on one night, i can have my dinner at 9plus pm. the following day, i only had one meal and that's dinner. sometimes, i can either take my lunch at late noons or totally forget about my lunch.

i just realized i've been quite indecisive these days. suddenly, i feel so lazy to decide where i want to go, what i want to eat when i'm with him. the worst was sometimes i couldnt even decide whether i wanted to go home or not. how amazing!

guess it's not that i'm indecisive (haha..is that a self-denial statement?!). i think KEXI IS A GREEDY GIRL! she wants the best of both world. she wants to spend more time with him, yet she wants to be at home to accompany her mom. oh gosh, what is happening?!

she finds herself silly these days. the worst was once when she was swimming halfway, she suddenly smiled. well, it's not that sudden, just the thought of meeting up with him the following day made her smiley all day.

but sometimes she's really crazy. when she met up with him, she would find something to bicker with him over..erm..unknown reasons. then after that, she would regret for being so..okay, never mind about that.

i guess the problem with humans is that we tend to remember the bad and take the good for granted. we should, or probably it's ME who should learn how to appreciate the good in him and express my feelings better.

nonetheless, i'm very grateful that he is still with me.

totally impressive!

i feel that i should give a pat on her back and tell her that she has done me proud. very proud, indeed. it is unquestionable that she has reached the heights of her tolerance and patience.

she used to flare up on whatever things didnt go HER way; snapped at whoever stepped on HER tail. sometimes, even i feel that she is kind of DEMANDING and UNREASONABLE. but this time, she plays it cool. i think it is really a wise choice to walk away, simmer down before looking back at the firestarter again. at least, when she comes back, she talks with a rational head. i believe that when one is really at the top of his or her anger, nothing goes into their head, let alone processing the facts correctly.

all she wanted to do is to know all about his thought and feelings after the HORRIFYING EVENING. but i guess he finds more comfort in Marc Jacobs than her.

for Marc Jacobs, he brushed her off with a couple of words. for Marc Jacobs, he cant wait to hang up on her. for his Marc Jacobs, she put up with all these. she really dont understand; or rather, she will not be able to understand. but perhaps the day will come - the day when she, like him, falls in love with Marc Jacobs.

writing therapy IS indeed a really good way to avoid fire fighting, says Kexi. *wink

ran again. i realized that it took longer to recover today. still, i was proud of myself cos' i managed to ignore it completely.

swimming tomorrow morning.

last night was fun! we (yarpz! just the two of us ^_^) went to wala-wala.

the band that was playing last night was The UnXpected.



i was very impressed with the lead singer, shirlyn tan because she sings really well. she has a very strong vocal and i like her style. hmm..a bit rebellious, punky, emo..just that she carries herself off very well. ooh, did i sound as if i've lesbian tendency..hmm..

anyway, pictures pictures pictures, damien...keke =)

there is really something called 'writing therapy'. it said that the act of writing and processing the written words helps one gradually eases the pain and strenghten the immune system.

i hope blogging helps me.

honestly, i'm depressed almost every day. the thought of waking up in the morning is quite tiring. i used to believe that tomorrow will be a better day. now, i just pray that my ringtone will sound off and that the person on the other end invites me to an interview. anticipation is killing me!

sometimes, i really feel dejected and rejected after interviews. it's not that i never do my homework. seriously, i really dont know what they want. when you have a degree, they will think that you're fresh in the society. on the other hand, when you are a veteran in the society, they think that your qualification is too low to match up to the job. nothing is perfect in this world. if there is, then there will not be demand and supply. no more invisible hand..erm..perfect competition?!

my mandarin is lousy. i cant even express myself in proper sentence. shucks! i'm screwed.

i went jogging in the evening after we had ended the 7-minutes phone conversation.

the jog was great! i finally learnt what determination is and unexpectedly, i discovered something new about myself.

some negative thoughts are just in your mind, playing you out. like whenever i jog, there will always be cramps after certain distance. sometimes, it was so painful that it forced my brain to tell my legs to stop jogging. today, my determination was strong. i totally ignored its presence and continued running. due to the lack of attention, the cramps gave up and cooperated with me. so, that's how i completed my 5km. yay!

i'm so proud of myself because this is the first time, i did not succumb to cramps (though i did slow down a little). i guess it's because of my determination and belief. i set myself to run 10 rounds of 500m in the park, which i did. =) however, my timing for 5km today wasnt fantastic at all.

NOTE: i used 'today'. that means, the next time i run, i must improve that freakin' timing lahz! hmm..or maybe i should aim to run 8km next time and see how w.o.l.s i am..haha..

yet another week and this is the first week of another month.

suddenly, this song just came into my mind.

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it's say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
And all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
And all I know is
You got to give me everything
And nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
And all I know isYou got to give me everything
And nothing less causeYou know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

the weather is odd these days. i feel the difference and changed. these days are cold, just like you...

...but still, i love THE COLD WEATHER.

trigonometry is fun! but sometimes they are simply just too complex to solve.

she doesn't see how she can solve it, or rather, how her tutor and her can solve it together. the problem doesn't lie on the triangle nor the tutor. it is her! she has a psychological problem.

i mean to solve it, all she needs to do is to use mnemonic to remeber the rules of trigonometry. but she can screw it. she is usually capable of turning all the facts and relationship of trigonometry into an unorthodox one. brilliant huh!

she needs to break through all her fears, anxieties and insecurities. she must believe that she can solve the trigonometry sum. i remember someone once told me that if you keep telling yourself that 'you can do it', everything will work out fine.

you are the evil yourself, weak-minded woman! nobody can help you if you don't try to expel it out yourself at the first place. it's all in your mind. don't push the 'red' button as and when you like it. don't test people's limit and push them into the corner. believe me, the most patient person may be intolerant and frustrated. mind you, it can get very ugly and nasty! by that time, everything is just too late.

so, be nice and don't be rude before it's too late. please do not come crying to me, telling me how regretful you are for acting like a b*itch.

then trust me, i will be a b*tch and tell you off - "you brought this upon yourself. blame no one but you. and honestly, it's just too bad."

had nothing better to do other than blogging.

it was raining these days. since when is the sun so shy in the mids of springtime? i met dementors at my house's back alley. they had kissed the bubbly f.k.x. nothing could stop them. no harry potter. no expecto patronus!

now i see a walking zombie around my house. so expressionless, so emotionless. absolutely a robot!

you know, people always said "the dusk is the darkest moment before dawn and before you can be 'enlighten', you have to get through the dusk." it's like sunshine after the rain. but i think i'm still in the dark side.

i need inspiration!

retail "therapy" is not really that helpful after all! =( it is an illusion; a smokescreen.

at the point of undergoing this therapy, the feeling was superb. but well, the aftermath was disastrous (when you get your bill!) it slaps you back to reality and you'll double the dosage of pain; got pinch in the pocket and heart..ouch!

anyway, i was smiling to myself all day. i guess it's cos' i feel more relieved after the interview and that i've got another interview tomorrow (hip hip hurray!) also, damien and i signed up for "head over heels" couple run 2009 (keke..). i've never participated in any run before. it's really memorable and significant as it marks my first-ever run in my 23 years of life. what's more, i've got my love running with me! i can't help it but just think that it's totally so cool lahz..plus, we can train together. what a brilliant idea to spice up your love life! can't wait to train with him.

err..i guess it's only me; trained by him. i bet he doesnt even need to train; 8km to him is like no kick!

depressed. stressed. totally lousy. so useless. hiding from the world. don't want to talk to anybody or see anyone.

gosh! sound like a loser. maybe really one. cant possibly blame it on luck. just not good enough. unable to compete.

tomorrow is the third interview. hopefully, i dont blow my chance away. praying hard and keeping my finger cross.

oh man, i'm caught in dilemma again.

dar is right. kids below 6 years old are darn cute. when they are beyond the age, they become little monsters!

but i still love kids! i miss my nephew and niece. they are my sunshine! whenever i'm upset or stressed, i'll look forward to see them and play with them. they just never fail to cheer me up =)

my tutee got me upset again =( i simply dont understand why she still doesnt want to do her homework. it's unforgivable if the kid is plain lazy and procrastinate in doing homework. it just got on my nerves when things are not my way and i dont see that i'm able to help her.

i'm going to be complaint queen tomorrow, i swear!

haven been updating my blog for a couple of days. hmm..this week was quite busy. tired but enjoyable =)

before kk left for brunei, we went zouk. yarpz! so rare of me that i would go clubbing but i did. it was mambo night (woohoo!) the music was not bad. being a good girl, i didn't drink cos' i drove and i think it's more fun to club when i'm sober =) always wanted to for phuture cos' it's RnB. this time, i still didn't manage to get in. apparently, the bouncer said that girls were full in phuture so have to go zouk.

i still want to go phuture but with him. don't know why, but when i was clubbing that night, i missed him. i felt lonely and vulnerable without him. what worst is, i felt really bad cos i broke THE keychain when i dropped my phone at the ladies. as it is very significant to me, i went back to look for it. but it cant be found. *sobsob.

qi was quite high so we took care of her. thinking back, i think i'm the luckiest girl because my man took really good care of me when i was super high. oh man! i'm singing praises of him. but yarpz, he is the best i ever have. yesterday was v'day. we went BREAKOUT together. superb! then we had v'day dinner at secret receipe. aiyah, so sad..we didnt take picture. but it's okay. it's all in my head. the thought of him makes me happy. i am always comfortable with him and enjoy every second with him.

i used to not believe in love but somehow after we've met, i believe that in us.

craps! got to go..my dad rushing me to go swimming now. hurhur..when i'm writing the most important part. haha..it's okay lah, they are all in my heart! LOVE

shucks! it's coming back again.

sweat. cold feet. can neither sit nor stand. grouchy. grumpy. easily irritated.

strrRRRrrretch!

came across this article. constructive. very relevant to us (hmm..or rather to me lahz). kinda like a reminder to me. okay, to KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME!

i didn't try to resolve the issue. my aggression had totally took over me. cornered him. no room for negotiation. i forgot that he was my love, i treated him as if he was my rival. in the midst of attacking him, i failed to realise that we are a team.

if you ask me why that sudden outbreak, i'm clueless too. simply complicate matters. confuse myself and made a big hoo-ha out of it. i guess i let the same issue relived and implicate my past feelings into it again.

you kept repeating that you wanted to meet them but i was too deaf to hear you. i felt very selfish because i only wanted my thoughts to be heard aloud. i shut you and your words out. i was very touched when i finally heard you. all i wish for is that you can get really comfortable with them.

it's really all in your mind. they are one of the most understanding couple. they love whoever i love. they know that time is precious to us. weekends are the only time that we can spend together. in fact, they dont want me to stick with them cos it jus means that i'm so undesirable (haha!) as long as you keep me safe, they are happy with it. they are just my doting parents. no fears, okay! =)

"yeeph yuooh ahh anharepee wiiph miee, peelisi thelle miee."

yarp. already. don't know why. don't know what. hate temptittude. uncontrollable. trying hard. failed. disappointment. sick. blogging. again. and again.

right. left. change. better. learn. scared off. but how.

full of pride. let go. sorry. know. fault. apologise. bloody loser.

*NOTE: highly encoded.

i shall not swim on Saturday evenings. it was so crowded that i had to keep pausing to let the little kids splashed water past me. oh man!

was at kukup for the weekend. it wasn't as exciting as the last time. don't really have much to do except ktv-ing, mahjong-ing, fishing and eating. basically, the songs are amazingly retro which i dont feel like singing at all. so yup, i was roaming around the house like a wander ghost (haha!)

then, in the evening, we had fireworks competition. our parents spent around RM850 to buy four fire crackers and boxes of fireworks.

my sis and me (erm okay, my cousin, Stanley)

the sneaky snake getting involved in our fishy business!

peeking into our neighbor's house...

...and his jellyfish

our cute Tricia stamping on poppers!

huat ah!

nort een beeyest orf muoo, jarst nort guwod airt orhall. fiel lieegg aye teairyblee youssless oneder gohoesee!

was driving to hall today when i heard this song on the radio. it's a nice song and i quite like it. today hadnt been good day cos' i've yet again did it again. i hate it! i dont want to say much. just that i need and have to build on something to maintain that thing.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

happy birthday to Kexi!

dont think of the sacrifices you have done. instead, think of what you can do to make them happy. i like to plan but i dont like to be planned. neither do i like to be forced.

i am trying to balance.

i miss my daddy!

Just like a star across my sky,
just like an angel off the page,
you have appeared to my life,
feel like I'll never be the same,
just like a song in my heart,
just like oil on my hands,
Honor to love you

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
with anyone but you,
we do it all the time,
blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,
you make me feel I'm alive,
when everything else is au fait,
without a doubt you're on my side,
heaven has been away too long,
can't find the words to write this song of your love,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
with anyone but you,
we do it all the time,
blowing out my mind,

Now i have come to understand,
the way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
from tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
now I understand,
Yeah-yeah

Oooh......Ooohhhh..

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
with anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
for anyone but you we do it all the time,
blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
just like an angel off the page,
you have appeared to my life,
feel like I'll never be the same,
just like a song in my heart,
just like oil on my hands.

next monday is my birthday (*ahem ahem)

haha..okay, i dont need an elaborated birthday celebration. i also dont need to rip off all the wrappers that hug tightly to my presents. i cant remember all my birthday celebrations except my 21st birthday. was in hall and i received 21 roses from 21 people. aww..so sweet of ham to come up with this idea. after that, the usual birthday song, cakes and erm..drinks!

evil laughter of boyan. offering his bottle of vodka. my 21 shots or more which i cant remember too! *disclaimer: but i was sober enough to have dinner with my parents at THE LINE. hee

the pictures were taken two years ago! i think people change to the better. haha..at least for me!

i think age is really catching up. i dont really remember how i celebrate my 22nd birthday. seriously. i cant even remember who i spent it with. oh..wait. i think if i'm not wrong, i spent my morning painting the billboard. the SP billboard. haha..then i went home to have dinner with my family. yarpz!

this year, my birthday happens to fall on the first day of the Chinese New Year - the Year of Ox. OMG! and that means i'm 24 years old (according to the lunar calendar). not very happening, eh. nonetheless, i'm thinking if i should buy a cake to my granny's place to celebrate with all my beloved cousins. oh well, see if i happen to walk past any Four Leaves bakery and i shall think about it.

daddy just got home!
didn't have breakfast with him today cos' of tuition. then i thought we can have dinner together tonight. but we did not because he was busy helping his friend; to deliver pots of flowers to the retailers. he knew this friend since when he was a recruit (haha!)

i'm tired already. don't know why. just tired.

it's all coming back again.

what is wrong with her? why is she always thinking so negatively? when can she stop all her nonsense? how is it possible to communicate if she keeps being such an annoying person?! enough is blardy enough!

i think she's starting to feel that it's all one-sided. she can't be sure if she is really needed there or not. she can't be sure if she is doing it too much that it is getting on people's nerves. i guess she just feel that she is making an offline effort but the result is only virtual.

sometimes, she just felt that her presence is redundant and she hates virtual. but i believe that it's the mode of communication - can be quite sucky at times. it seemed like this form of communication is not as haps as it seemed, i mean as it sound. just certain element is lacking - i guess it's energy.

i guess she's just being too sensitive again. the fact that she has laid her trust and faith so she should not have any reasons to feel this way. probably she is not so used to the distant. after all, it is visual for her everyday, down to couple of days. soon, it's once a week or fortnightly. she is more of a visual person. i mean who can blame her since seeing is believing. eyes are the window to the soul and she always looks into people's eyes when she wants to know more. now that everything is so online, she just being insecure and lack of confidence in herself. ha! sounds like a loser, isn't she?

suddenly, she felt like she has lost everything. okay, not everything. just some things. what has changed her? where have they gone to? since when have they desert her and leave her all by herself? why hasn't she gone looking for them?

she is starting to hate herself. where is the mafia-ness she has? where is she?

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I'd be looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again

Oh Oh Ohhhhh

How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for

I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again (can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me (see we don't really know)
Touch me like this is the last time (see everyday we never know)
Promise that you'll love me (I want you to promise me)
Love me like you'll never see me again (like you'll never see me again)

cleaned the antique wooden cabinet in my house. ohh..these treasures only get to see the "world" every year when spring-cleaning them.

my dad's bao jian (cheng cheng!) haha..like the wu xia xiao shuo kind of sword. so chi-na! like her daughter - china-pok

now they are back to where they belong. i take pride in my work. so don't mess around with me and try to mess up. a note for my dad..hee..ugly handwriting! oh wells, it was written at the moment of anguish..kekeke..

well, actually can see that i just anyhow dumped his 'fishy' stuff at the lowest cabinet. after all, he will mess it up in days to come.. bleah! =P

today is the first day of school. but not for me =(

i miss school (as in literally). it's so good to be a student. don't have to worry about pocket money (oh well, at least for me..) =P there's so much freedom. nobody really cares if you go to school or not. you do not need to write in to apply for "leave". jus that you'll be wasting your school fees which you do not really see it be literally being wasted.

it's really time for me to wake up and find a decent job. get on with life and realise that there's a better life out there. look forward, kexi!

for the schoolchildren, have fun in school. play hard and study harder! haha =)

after tuition, my mom called me. she asked if i wanted to join her, my dad n sis to pick a few pots of flowers for the new year. we went to the usual garden owned by my dad's army friend. you bet how strong their friendship is.

some pictures i took when we were there. i've abandoned (okay, i mean i've graduated from) sea of orange . here i am, in the pretty sea of yellow and purple.

sunflowers! ohh..i love it manz.

my mom bought four pots of flowers in spite of saying "i'll just buy one. one will do." followed by a firm confirmation. still, she chose four pots.

i don't know why my mom insist of bringing the two flowers back on a CAR. well, our 1.4l car is just nice for the four of us. it's totally uncomfortable to have two more pots of flowers. i mean dad can use his van to pick it up and he will pick up the other two which are totally impossible to bring back on car. so wat's the hurry manz. besides, dad has trolley so he can bring the four pots to our home without hurting his back.

another thing that stunned me after my tuition was that the folks are planning to go msia to buy pineapple tarts. yarpz! amazing. jus go to msia for the pineapple tarts. haha! seriously~

cylysce jus kissed me. haha..cos' i found the love of her life: http://www.blurty.com/users/witheringtravis honestly, i think he is cute and talented too. haha..oh man, i'm attached!

okay, i mean yay! i'm attached to a cute and super duper uper nice boyfriend. i'm really fortunate to have him by my side all the time (figuratively cos' he still have school to deal with). =) school's re-opening next monday, i hope we still be able to spend time. but well, whatever it is, school comes first. CAP 5 okies!

came back from a half an hour run in the mornin at 6am. actually, i managed it with music. listenin to music while jogging.

today's plan:
1. prepare for interview: i thought someone might come over and help me with it. haha..it's ok lah. i can manage it myself too. just need to think about what to wear tomorrow. argh! headache.
2. prepare for tuition: my student is my primary school junior! so 'qiao'..haha..my mom asked me to drop him after i found a full-time job. but well, i can always put him on weekends, right. haha..she just worried that my full-time job take up most of my weekdays and i don't have time for family, friend (hee) and friends.

confused. frustrated. i dont know. really. is it just me or the stabilizer? or maybe the chemical compound itself is already kinda volatile?

like my dad always says, it's the singer, not the song. come to think about it, i guess it's me. mistake. shouldn't blame the stailizer or the chemical compound. oh gosh, probably i accidentally added undesirable foreign particles in the process of stablizing it. i dont know why i've been so careless but i hope the experiment works and the results won't differ much.

and yes, what i've done. well, like i always said, what is done can never be undone. so why am i still thinking about it. if the result is different, so be it. i mean who knows, there may be some unexpected positive results. if you never try, you'll never know =) at least, so far i haven't live with regrets.

but honestly, who am i trying to kid? i still think about it. yes, it's a disguise. on the surface it seems the same to me, but still there is something missing or already have changed that i didn't take notice of. maybe it's me again. i'm being too sensitive. =/ whatever it is, i hope nothing has changed and the results is either the same or even more positive.

anyways, HAPPY B'DAY, DADDY!

havent been sick for the longest time. cant really remember when i had fever.

well, yesterday i felt the worst ever. totally no strength and my body couldnt decide whether she's cold or hot (haha!) went to see a doc (yarpz! what a great way to start a new year).

he believed i caught some stomach flu and prescribed me dompenyl, panamol, dhacopan and cirok (ciprofloxin). they are just basically for nausea, fever, abdominal pain and antibiotics.

i'm not having fever now but now my nose is trying to run. *sneeze now i've got indigestion. i think my gastric is giving me problem.

an apple a day keeps the doctor a day. i should have listen and not have two. =/

heard this song when we were on the way to have the annual FANG's dinner. and i quite like it! =)

well, it wasn't dinner in the past. but as time passes, people grow older, we can hardly take supper. so we pushed forward to dinner in recent years because supper is ssSSssupeRRRrrr unhealthy.

anyways, we had dinner at this restaurant called hai jing lou. it is located in toa payoh. apparently, we had eaten at this restaurant verRrry long time ago (and i mean it when i said that..haha). this 24-hours restaurant was originally at the kallang riverside, near indoor stadium. we ate in this restaurant when i was rRrreaLlyyyYyy young.

i'm feeling fever-ish. i guess it's bedtime...erm..after i settled BREAKOUT!

back in SG last night. a four days-three nights trip to KL. well, honestly if you asked me is it fun or not, all i say is NOPE!


but then, i've got three great companions with me and that made the trip h*ll lotsa fun manz! i love my travel buddies! the guys didn't show any sign of impatience while Cylysce and i were shopping. phew! something i learnt from the trip: when poking Jun Hao, please wear a face mask cos' he can get VERY violent.

we left for KL early in the morning on 26th Dec and arrived at about 3pm like that. the coach we took was not too bad (at least better than those i used to take..hee). the bus stopped somewhere in Yong Peng where all the rest of the tourist coaches usually gathered. sound like some tourist spot eh.. anyway, i bought a bowl of fishball soup. fyi, it's not any other fishball soup cos' apparently, the fishball is made of this fish called erm..don't know the name of the fish lah. it cost me RM6, roughly 3sing but i still bought it cos' i love the fishball that is made of that species.

then we arrived at KL after a good half an hour of jam (roughly la...) and bought return tickets before checking into the hotel. after that, yean ching brought us to KLCC where we shop-ed and took lots of pictures.

the next day, we went to Sunway Lagoon. after visiting the scream park, i've proved a point: humans are scarier than ghost and i'm more scared of psychotic humans and 'ghost'. then we went to the water park and finally the amusement park. all i can say it's marketing technique is quite successful (haha..)i guess the highlights that day was still shopping cos' i bought two MNG top for RM60+, which is around 30sing lah! so happy!

more shopping at times square on the third day of our trip though i didn't buy anything except food. =)

talking about food, we went to KFC cos' the chicks are so much fresher than SG's, McDonald's for service (haha..i'm kidding! i believe we can get 10 apple pies at their rate of service), A&W for the rootbeer float (woohoo!), Kenny Rogers for the so-called 'buy one, get one free' deal since it is halved the SG pricing. =)

cos' of the food, i had to exercise off the extras (hee..) i ran for 20mintues, walk for 10minutes and climb the stairs back to home. cool manz! the next session i'll increase the running time to 25mintues till i can run for 60mintues. i think by then i should be ready for my first 10km marathon (i hope!)

alright, when i get the pictures, i'll post it here. so stay tune!

back.

went to Pulai Spring over the weekend again. haha.. it took us 4hours to stamp our passports. and we "bought" the immigration cards.

then my dad went golfing with his friends. i played too but only at the driving range. as my mom and sis are more indoor, i went to practise my swing on my own. then there is this Indian person came and chat with me.

to quote one of the conversation:
him: how long have you learnt?
me: just learnt. u?
him: two years.
me: wah!

then after that, he showed me his "powerful" swing. but all i could see was that rolling golf balls. haha.. actually, i didn't just learn. come to think about it, i started playing when i was in Secondary 3. i'm proud of my swing because can 'smoke' people. for a couple of times, the other golfers and 1 golf professional thought i have a handicap. haha..in fact, i haven't even gotten a PC. cool! my dad rocks!

at night, we went to dinner at some night market and we bought Rocky. it looks like singapore's pocky. apparently, it's quite nice.

results will be out at 1pm. i'm not worried cos' what is done cannot be undone. anyway, i've no more way to change my CAP. so, it's like whatever attitude.

2 more days to Christmas! hmm..East Coast? West Coast? Punggol?

3 more days to KL! can't wait =)

today is Day 2 of 106 Spring Cleaning. and i find the weirdest things in my parents room. it was tiring cos' there were actually 26 cabinets of all shapes and sizes. from my dad's working desk to his cabinet that is filled with socks to my mom's wardrobe that is full of toilet papers.

haha..looks like our family has very serious intestinal problem. actually, it's all the discount in the supermarket's fault! everytime we go grocery shopping in FairPrice, my mom will check out if the toilet rolls are on discount. if they are, we will buy two packs. yARpz, two packs.

this is my dad's favorite picture. other than being proud of the Fangs, he takes pride in his swing. i remembered that there was once when i just reached home from somewhere, he showed it to me before i could even say 'hi, dad!' haha..my proud father!

but other than his favourite picture of his golf swing, he has the most interesting collections. apparently, he is also quite an antique lover too. he has lots of old coins in the most absurd place you can find. for example, he can keep his old coins in those ancient jam mug-look-alike-glass (refer to the picture below). because he NEVER touches them all year but only keep them to collect dust. so i suggested to seal the mug-look-alike-glass with a plastic cover.

the main purpose is so that next year, i just have the change the plastic cover (no sweat!). secondly, so that he realized that i've helped to clean his working desk (so don't dirty them again!) thirdly, just to irritate him (haha..because i think he doesn't like to have plastic cover on his stuff). but seriously, i don't care because he won't scold me. all he does is quietly remove the plastic cover without my knowledge.

sorry, dad! you've a gl daugther.

i hate zhao ju. i remember vivdly that i used to cheat on that section. my best friend who sat in front of me used to help me with that section of the test. she helped me complete the sentences. in return, i helped her with tian xie han zi. she was good because she could zhao two different sentences, one for her test paper; and one for mine. i am dense too. i couldn't make out what it is trying to say. also, i don't want to hurt my brain cells and get brain damage for thinking and reading too much into it.

i just dont understand.

it seemed to me that there is really something to it and 'I'm not telling you (full-stop!)' am i just really being too sensitive? Or is it that i'm just thinking too much? i really dislike the feeling when i'm not told of something. i feel that there is something more to it. it is quite annoying because it's like zhao ju. i've to guess what is the second part of the story.

if i am, like what you say, thinking too much, then tell me what is it. i believe that will stop me from interpreting too deeply.

*stupid blogger! nv save my blog. now i've to type for the blardy second time. so fake now!

PRESS THE PANIC BUTTON!

i'm so scared. it's too dark and hazy ahead.

no commitment, no cash, no communications. it's too individualistic.

this Christmas, i shan't ask Santa to make my friends and boyfriend fat. instead, i shall ask to make the SP passion burn furious. let it shine, let it shine. shine on SP0809 and lead the way to success.

welcome home!

this is for you. though not very well photoshop-ped, i hope you like it.

i miss you too.

a bicycle just cycled past. oh no, it's illusion. still, she checks her phone. it can't be him. memories start to flood in. SWEET! a smile finally wipes on her face. yesss....in less than 24hours. =)

just had lunch. my mom's green bean soup with red bean glutinous rice ball. satisfied. =)

because next week is dong zhi and it's confirmed that we are away at P. Spring, so my dad suggested that we shall eat it today. apparently, he keeps talking about it and we get the hint so mom asked him to look for the black sesame flavor. yay!

but so sad, dad couldn't find the flavor so we decided to buy the red bean flavor. hmm..not very nice but at least it's not that sweet.

went swimming this morning. wait, i mean dad and i went to the swimming complex twice but only get to swim for once. i told him that the pool only opens at 8am. apparently, dad still woke me up at 6am! according to his "source", it opens early on weekends. but well, since his "source" uses the pool more often than me, i rest my case.

so we braved through the drizzle at 6.50am to the complex. when we reached at 7am, i was so happy but to find that the swimming complex opens only at the time i've told him -8am! so we decided to walk back home because it's getting heavier and we've got nothing to do there while waiting for the complex to open.

the rain didn't stop but we still didn't allow the weather to spoil my plans =) we decided to drive this time to the swimming complex..haha..lazy bones! dad and i finally swam (in the rain)!

it's so fun that my dad wanted to learn swimming cos' that means he is my new swimming kaki. i'm always his golf disciple.

alright, he just whistled at me and showing me his swing. he means "shall we go golfing now?" time to go!

i simply don't understand her.

if she can't control her temper, then sleep more. if she needs to sleep to tame her horrendous temper, then don't club. she should know that she can't club all night because it makes her lethargic. i think she should learn how to CONTROL her temper. i didn't force you to go clubbing and make you sleep for only four hours. don't blame others and don't even show your attitude.

anyway, i'm sorry. sorry for not giving in but sometimes, your attitude really sucks. you may think that i'm writing to defend myself but seriously, i don't care. WHATEVER! excuse me, i'm not freaking not attentive. seriously, one day maybe you should try walking in front of me and i try calling you out with my kitten pur volume in a busy street. =) for your info, my ears are NOT FOR SURROUND SOUND. my ears only capture vibrations from the sound in front, not behind me. i hope i make myself clear enough. can't believe you don't even get such simple scientific explanation for my "inattentiveness".

just in case you haven't realised that, i'm losing my patience. that's why i refused to give in to you. sometimes, you just have to know that you have pushed people's limit. don't go around throwing your tantrum on people without thinking if you have a valid reason for it.

i'm guilty of that too but, unlike you, at least i know when i've pushed people to the edge.

after one freaking afternoon. shucks! this is super slow. and guess what, this is the second attempt. oh my goodness, i realised i did wrongly towards the end of Attempt No. 1. so i've to delete everything and re-do. actually, not that hard so i shan't complain that much.

If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive

Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies

Our only light in paradise

We'll show the world they were wrong

And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I'm alive

Singing Amen I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day

When nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day

When nobody died

We'd see the day when nobody died

just have the sudden urge to share this song. it's nice, isn't it. sometimes, life is so unfair but there is nothing you can do about it. simply because the only strenght is you and you thought to yourself, "if everyone cared".

i'm not some noble girl who goes to great extent to help these people. all i'm saying is, if you think you had a bad day, i hope you will stay positive and cheer up. because nothing is worst than those who are living in poverty. when i say poverty, i mean those people who have no food or shelter over their heads.

by the way, you do your part to end the world hunger by clicking http://freerice.com/. not only you can brush up your volcabulary, 20 grains of rice is donated to the hungry people. =)

yessss....kate spade this EARLY Christmas (and birthday!)

my sis just came back from HK and she bought a bag and specs. i bet you can see that the handle is red and pink in color. my preferred colors! haha..actually, any color can be my favorite color as long as it matches the item best as compared to other color. hee.. typical woman, she can even be fickle with her favorite color..hmm.. =)

anyway, this bag is reversible. in another word, two bags for price of one! haha..now a typical auntie..oh wells.. =P yup, the reverse is a silver bag with a beige label. so apparently, if you want to show-off the branding, the reverse is a better choice..haha.. but i guess it's not necessary cos' it's quite obvious that the design is kate spade. =)

the second present that i've got from my sis is the Prada specs from her! my mom thinks it looks great on me. so much better than the current black checker-ed specs. but i love them both! guess what, it is red in color. haha..it's either my sis is obsessed with red or she thinks that this color speaks so much about me. Oops! that's not very nice actually.

finally, starting to send out resumes. it's quite boring at home. nothing to do. roaming around in the house as if my house very big like that..haha.. if not, i'm surfing the net all day. i stayed at home for the second day and i'm complaining already. gosh! can't believe it. anyway, hope i find a job soon so that i can start contributing back to the family, my hostel fees, my savings and etc.

not CAP 5 lah..no chance liao! but golf like Wie; swim like Phelps; run like Bolton.. haha..just kidding! but i want to pick up golf again! hopefully, i can earn my handicap soon and play with my dad in the green. then swim frequently and leisurely since it's my favorite sport. also, i planned to train for a run..say a short run then a real marathon. not very ambitious but i guess it's a good start. =) hee..

time to go!

went clubbing yesterday. drank long island tea, and then a little bit of submarine and graveyard. i think i drank to my own graveyard.

i started the night with the loooooong island tea. then, i think it got me on a submarine because i could the tipsiness sinking in. after that, the drink that was named graveyard - the final drink that ended my night.

so embarrassed about my atrocious behavior and i am positive that i'm not going to share that in this blog. if you're there and you've seen it, lucky (unlucky) you! hopefully, i won't get blacklisted (haha!)

whether lucky or not, i am convinced that I AM A FORTUNATE GIRL. he was very meticulous and noticed the difference in me. he was there for me when i was at my most 'lang bei' moments. i'm so happy that he appreciates and his compliments. it makes my day. =) though i don't really say it, i really do appreciate all the things he does for me; and say to me.

HE ROCKS MY WORLD!

keke..i love this picture the most! =) i think i still look better without specs. pretty pretty!

was revising for my module and came across this video... ...



i bet you had a good laugh at this stewpig CSI parody. anyway, i was reading about this interesting to share this phenomenon - cultural capital.

the reason why you're laughing at some of the stuff in this video is because from your learning and day-to-day experiences, you know that some things just dont work this way (like in the video). i mean, imagine someone who doesn't know English, do you think he or she is able to lol or rofl? How about if a person seldom chat online and that person doesn't know what is lol or rofl, do you think he or she is able to understand what i am writing about.

i think education is very important for us to know what the heck is going on in this world. it provide us the capability to read about news, write about our experiences on blogs and express our thoughts and feelings.

but then, why people still say stupid education? well, i believe that education doesnt make people stupid. it only makes us more square and uncreative. gosh, what a topic to talk about when i'm unofficially graduating tomorrow at 11am; making myself so unmotivated to mug for the paper.

i just realised education has turned me silly. the lecturer for tomorrow's paper mentioned before that there's no right or wrong answer in this paper (hooray!) and that we should not restrict ourselves to what is on the notes. she encourages fresh ideas. so in my own interpretation, it is not really a mugging module. but the thought of not touching the notes makes me uncomfortable and unprepared.

question! are we really studying for the sake of knowledge or wanting a qualification? when we study for exams, are we studying for the sake of remembering for life or remembering just for the exams? see, what i mean?

alright, i shall go back to my notes and read for the sake of feeling comfy =)

bro dropped by last night. he showed me this video after i was complaining about my last paper. the module is Culture Industry. if you're a NM major from NUS, DO NOT TAKE THIS MODULE unless you're the self-proclaimed Diva (haha!).

i'm not studying for it. if you think the lecture notes are confusing enough, you can try reading the Readings (woohoo!) i think this module is simply complicated because it is very factual and you can relate to your lifestyle easily. but the concepts are totally... ...(speechless)

the reason for this clip is because i'm now in the 'bargaining' stage. i believe during the exam, i'll be in the 'depression' stage but luckily it's an open-booked. the lecturer said there's no right or wrong answer. so i guess have to be critical and give lots of examples; opinions and theories (if i can find any). after the exam, i'll be in 'acceptance' stage. oops! too late to do anything already.

JUST LIVE WITH NO REGRETS!

A Giraffe Gets Stuck in Quicksand (must See) - For more funny movies, click here