heard this song when we were on the way to have the annual FANG's dinner. and i quite like it! =)

well, it wasn't dinner in the past. but as time passes, people grow older, we can hardly take supper. so we pushed forward to dinner in recent years because supper is ssSSssupeRRRrrr unhealthy.

anyways, we had dinner at this restaurant called hai jing lou. it is located in toa payoh. apparently, we had eaten at this restaurant verRrry long time ago (and i mean it when i said that..haha). this 24-hours restaurant was originally at the kallang riverside, near indoor stadium. we ate in this restaurant when i was rRrreaLlyyyYyy young.

i'm feeling fever-ish. i guess it's bedtime...erm..after i settled BREAKOUT!

back in SG last night. a four days-three nights trip to KL. well, honestly if you asked me is it fun or not, all i say is NOPE!


but then, i've got three great companions with me and that made the trip h*ll lotsa fun manz! i love my travel buddies! the guys didn't show any sign of impatience while Cylysce and i were shopping. phew! something i learnt from the trip: when poking Jun Hao, please wear a face mask cos' he can get VERY violent.

we left for KL early in the morning on 26th Dec and arrived at about 3pm like that. the coach we took was not too bad (at least better than those i used to take..hee). the bus stopped somewhere in Yong Peng where all the rest of the tourist coaches usually gathered. sound like some tourist spot eh.. anyway, i bought a bowl of fishball soup. fyi, it's not any other fishball soup cos' apparently, the fishball is made of this fish called erm..don't know the name of the fish lah. it cost me RM6, roughly 3sing but i still bought it cos' i love the fishball that is made of that species.

then we arrived at KL after a good half an hour of jam (roughly la...) and bought return tickets before checking into the hotel. after that, yean ching brought us to KLCC where we shop-ed and took lots of pictures.

the next day, we went to Sunway Lagoon. after visiting the scream park, i've proved a point: humans are scarier than ghost and i'm more scared of psychotic humans and 'ghost'. then we went to the water park and finally the amusement park. all i can say it's marketing technique is quite successful (haha..)i guess the highlights that day was still shopping cos' i bought two MNG top for RM60+, which is around 30sing lah! so happy!

more shopping at times square on the third day of our trip though i didn't buy anything except food. =)

talking about food, we went to KFC cos' the chicks are so much fresher than SG's, McDonald's for service (haha..i'm kidding! i believe we can get 10 apple pies at their rate of service), A&W for the rootbeer float (woohoo!), Kenny Rogers for the so-called 'buy one, get one free' deal since it is halved the SG pricing. =)

cos' of the food, i had to exercise off the extras (hee..) i ran for 20mintues, walk for 10minutes and climb the stairs back to home. cool manz! the next session i'll increase the running time to 25mintues till i can run for 60mintues. i think by then i should be ready for my first 10km marathon (i hope!)

alright, when i get the pictures, i'll post it here. so stay tune!

back.

went to Pulai Spring over the weekend again. haha.. it took us 4hours to stamp our passports. and we "bought" the immigration cards.

then my dad went golfing with his friends. i played too but only at the driving range. as my mom and sis are more indoor, i went to practise my swing on my own. then there is this Indian person came and chat with me.

to quote one of the conversation:
him: how long have you learnt?
me: just learnt. u?
him: two years.
me: wah!

then after that, he showed me his "powerful" swing. but all i could see was that rolling golf balls. haha.. actually, i didn't just learn. come to think about it, i started playing when i was in Secondary 3. i'm proud of my swing because can 'smoke' people. for a couple of times, the other golfers and 1 golf professional thought i have a handicap. haha..in fact, i haven't even gotten a PC. cool! my dad rocks!

at night, we went to dinner at some night market and we bought Rocky. it looks like singapore's pocky. apparently, it's quite nice.

results will be out at 1pm. i'm not worried cos' what is done cannot be undone. anyway, i've no more way to change my CAP. so, it's like whatever attitude.

2 more days to Christmas! hmm..East Coast? West Coast? Punggol?

3 more days to KL! can't wait =)

today is Day 2 of 106 Spring Cleaning. and i find the weirdest things in my parents room. it was tiring cos' there were actually 26 cabinets of all shapes and sizes. from my dad's working desk to his cabinet that is filled with socks to my mom's wardrobe that is full of toilet papers.

haha..looks like our family has very serious intestinal problem. actually, it's all the discount in the supermarket's fault! everytime we go grocery shopping in FairPrice, my mom will check out if the toilet rolls are on discount. if they are, we will buy two packs. yARpz, two packs.

this is my dad's favorite picture. other than being proud of the Fangs, he takes pride in his swing. i remembered that there was once when i just reached home from somewhere, he showed it to me before i could even say 'hi, dad!' haha..my proud father!

but other than his favourite picture of his golf swing, he has the most interesting collections. apparently, he is also quite an antique lover too. he has lots of old coins in the most absurd place you can find. for example, he can keep his old coins in those ancient jam mug-look-alike-glass (refer to the picture below). because he NEVER touches them all year but only keep them to collect dust. so i suggested to seal the mug-look-alike-glass with a plastic cover.

the main purpose is so that next year, i just have the change the plastic cover (no sweat!). secondly, so that he realized that i've helped to clean his working desk (so don't dirty them again!) thirdly, just to irritate him (haha..because i think he doesn't like to have plastic cover on his stuff). but seriously, i don't care because he won't scold me. all he does is quietly remove the plastic cover without my knowledge.

sorry, dad! you've a gl daugther.

i hate zhao ju. i remember vivdly that i used to cheat on that section. my best friend who sat in front of me used to help me with that section of the test. she helped me complete the sentences. in return, i helped her with tian xie han zi. she was good because she could zhao two different sentences, one for her test paper; and one for mine. i am dense too. i couldn't make out what it is trying to say. also, i don't want to hurt my brain cells and get brain damage for thinking and reading too much into it.

i just dont understand.

it seemed to me that there is really something to it and 'I'm not telling you (full-stop!)' am i just really being too sensitive? Or is it that i'm just thinking too much? i really dislike the feeling when i'm not told of something. i feel that there is something more to it. it is quite annoying because it's like zhao ju. i've to guess what is the second part of the story.

if i am, like what you say, thinking too much, then tell me what is it. i believe that will stop me from interpreting too deeply.

*stupid blogger! nv save my blog. now i've to type for the blardy second time. so fake now!

PRESS THE PANIC BUTTON!

i'm so scared. it's too dark and hazy ahead.

no commitment, no cash, no communications. it's too individualistic.

this Christmas, i shan't ask Santa to make my friends and boyfriend fat. instead, i shall ask to make the SP passion burn furious. let it shine, let it shine. shine on SP0809 and lead the way to success.

welcome home!

this is for you. though not very well photoshop-ped, i hope you like it.

i miss you too.

a bicycle just cycled past. oh no, it's illusion. still, she checks her phone. it can't be him. memories start to flood in. SWEET! a smile finally wipes on her face. yesss....in less than 24hours. =)

just had lunch. my mom's green bean soup with red bean glutinous rice ball. satisfied. =)

because next week is dong zhi and it's confirmed that we are away at P. Spring, so my dad suggested that we shall eat it today. apparently, he keeps talking about it and we get the hint so mom asked him to look for the black sesame flavor. yay!

but so sad, dad couldn't find the flavor so we decided to buy the red bean flavor. hmm..not very nice but at least it's not that sweet.

went swimming this morning. wait, i mean dad and i went to the swimming complex twice but only get to swim for once. i told him that the pool only opens at 8am. apparently, dad still woke me up at 6am! according to his "source", it opens early on weekends. but well, since his "source" uses the pool more often than me, i rest my case.

so we braved through the drizzle at 6.50am to the complex. when we reached at 7am, i was so happy but to find that the swimming complex opens only at the time i've told him -8am! so we decided to walk back home because it's getting heavier and we've got nothing to do there while waiting for the complex to open.

the rain didn't stop but we still didn't allow the weather to spoil my plans =) we decided to drive this time to the swimming complex..haha..lazy bones! dad and i finally swam (in the rain)!

it's so fun that my dad wanted to learn swimming cos' that means he is my new swimming kaki. i'm always his golf disciple.

alright, he just whistled at me and showing me his swing. he means "shall we go golfing now?" time to go!

i simply don't understand her.

if she can't control her temper, then sleep more. if she needs to sleep to tame her horrendous temper, then don't club. she should know that she can't club all night because it makes her lethargic. i think she should learn how to CONTROL her temper. i didn't force you to go clubbing and make you sleep for only four hours. don't blame others and don't even show your attitude.

anyway, i'm sorry. sorry for not giving in but sometimes, your attitude really sucks. you may think that i'm writing to defend myself but seriously, i don't care. WHATEVER! excuse me, i'm not freaking not attentive. seriously, one day maybe you should try walking in front of me and i try calling you out with my kitten pur volume in a busy street. =) for your info, my ears are NOT FOR SURROUND SOUND. my ears only capture vibrations from the sound in front, not behind me. i hope i make myself clear enough. can't believe you don't even get such simple scientific explanation for my "inattentiveness".

just in case you haven't realised that, i'm losing my patience. that's why i refused to give in to you. sometimes, you just have to know that you have pushed people's limit. don't go around throwing your tantrum on people without thinking if you have a valid reason for it.

i'm guilty of that too but, unlike you, at least i know when i've pushed people to the edge.

after one freaking afternoon. shucks! this is super slow. and guess what, this is the second attempt. oh my goodness, i realised i did wrongly towards the end of Attempt No. 1. so i've to delete everything and re-do. actually, not that hard so i shan't complain that much.

If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I'm alive

Singing Amen, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive

Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies

Our only light in paradise

We'll show the world they were wrong

And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I'm alive

Singing Amen I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day

When nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day

When nobody died

We'd see the day when nobody died

just have the sudden urge to share this song. it's nice, isn't it. sometimes, life is so unfair but there is nothing you can do about it. simply because the only strenght is you and you thought to yourself, "if everyone cared".

i'm not some noble girl who goes to great extent to help these people. all i'm saying is, if you think you had a bad day, i hope you will stay positive and cheer up. because nothing is worst than those who are living in poverty. when i say poverty, i mean those people who have no food or shelter over their heads.

by the way, you do your part to end the world hunger by clicking http://freerice.com/. not only you can brush up your volcabulary, 20 grains of rice is donated to the hungry people. =)

yessss....kate spade this EARLY Christmas (and birthday!)

my sis just came back from HK and she bought a bag and specs. i bet you can see that the handle is red and pink in color. my preferred colors! haha..actually, any color can be my favorite color as long as it matches the item best as compared to other color. hee.. typical woman, she can even be fickle with her favorite color..hmm.. =)

anyway, this bag is reversible. in another word, two bags for price of one! haha..now a typical auntie..oh wells.. =P yup, the reverse is a silver bag with a beige label. so apparently, if you want to show-off the branding, the reverse is a better choice..haha.. but i guess it's not necessary cos' it's quite obvious that the design is kate spade. =)

the second present that i've got from my sis is the Prada specs from her! my mom thinks it looks great on me. so much better than the current black checker-ed specs. but i love them both! guess what, it is red in color. haha..it's either my sis is obsessed with red or she thinks that this color speaks so much about me. Oops! that's not very nice actually.

finally, starting to send out resumes. it's quite boring at home. nothing to do. roaming around in the house as if my house very big like that..haha.. if not, i'm surfing the net all day. i stayed at home for the second day and i'm complaining already. gosh! can't believe it. anyway, hope i find a job soon so that i can start contributing back to the family, my hostel fees, my savings and etc.

not CAP 5 lah..no chance liao! but golf like Wie; swim like Phelps; run like Bolton.. haha..just kidding! but i want to pick up golf again! hopefully, i can earn my handicap soon and play with my dad in the green. then swim frequently and leisurely since it's my favorite sport. also, i planned to train for a run..say a short run then a real marathon. not very ambitious but i guess it's a good start. =) hee..

time to go!

went clubbing yesterday. drank long island tea, and then a little bit of submarine and graveyard. i think i drank to my own graveyard.

i started the night with the loooooong island tea. then, i think it got me on a submarine because i could the tipsiness sinking in. after that, the drink that was named graveyard - the final drink that ended my night.

so embarrassed about my atrocious behavior and i am positive that i'm not going to share that in this blog. if you're there and you've seen it, lucky (unlucky) you! hopefully, i won't get blacklisted (haha!)

whether lucky or not, i am convinced that I AM A FORTUNATE GIRL. he was very meticulous and noticed the difference in me. he was there for me when i was at my most 'lang bei' moments. i'm so happy that he appreciates and his compliments. it makes my day. =) though i don't really say it, i really do appreciate all the things he does for me; and say to me.

HE ROCKS MY WORLD!

keke..i love this picture the most! =) i think i still look better without specs. pretty pretty!

was revising for my module and came across this video... ...



i bet you had a good laugh at this stewpig CSI parody. anyway, i was reading about this interesting to share this phenomenon - cultural capital.

the reason why you're laughing at some of the stuff in this video is because from your learning and day-to-day experiences, you know that some things just dont work this way (like in the video). i mean, imagine someone who doesn't know English, do you think he or she is able to lol or rofl? How about if a person seldom chat online and that person doesn't know what is lol or rofl, do you think he or she is able to understand what i am writing about.

i think education is very important for us to know what the heck is going on in this world. it provide us the capability to read about news, write about our experiences on blogs and express our thoughts and feelings.

but then, why people still say stupid education? well, i believe that education doesnt make people stupid. it only makes us more square and uncreative. gosh, what a topic to talk about when i'm unofficially graduating tomorrow at 11am; making myself so unmotivated to mug for the paper.

i just realised education has turned me silly. the lecturer for tomorrow's paper mentioned before that there's no right or wrong answer in this paper (hooray!) and that we should not restrict ourselves to what is on the notes. she encourages fresh ideas. so in my own interpretation, it is not really a mugging module. but the thought of not touching the notes makes me uncomfortable and unprepared.

question! are we really studying for the sake of knowledge or wanting a qualification? when we study for exams, are we studying for the sake of remembering for life or remembering just for the exams? see, what i mean?

alright, i shall go back to my notes and read for the sake of feeling comfy =)

bro dropped by last night. he showed me this video after i was complaining about my last paper. the module is Culture Industry. if you're a NM major from NUS, DO NOT TAKE THIS MODULE unless you're the self-proclaimed Diva (haha!).

i'm not studying for it. if you think the lecture notes are confusing enough, you can try reading the Readings (woohoo!) i think this module is simply complicated because it is very factual and you can relate to your lifestyle easily. but the concepts are totally... ...(speechless)

the reason for this clip is because i'm now in the 'bargaining' stage. i believe during the exam, i'll be in the 'depression' stage but luckily it's an open-booked. the lecturer said there's no right or wrong answer. so i guess have to be critical and give lots of examples; opinions and theories (if i can find any). after the exam, i'll be in 'acceptance' stage. oops! too late to do anything already.

JUST LIVE WITH NO REGRETS!

A Giraffe Gets Stuck in Quicksand (must See) - For more funny movies, click here

i've told her.

today is Thanks-giving Day in US. my xiaoyi had sent a message and shared a song. i would love to share it with you guys too.

sharing her sentiments, i'm thankful and grateful that my loved ones are safe. we don't really worry about the food and not having a roof over our heads tonight. what else can we ask for from life? like what she says, life is full of hopes and joys. it is really nice if we can extend our hands to help those in need.

sometimes, we are too busy with our life and we often forget about ourselves; let alone our loved ones. it's quite an irony to think that they are closest to us but we neglected them the most.

it reminded me of myself. i was supposed to call home this afternoon to tell my mom my plans for tomorrow evening. but i was so busy mugging for my papers that i've forgotten completely. i thought how filial i am. if i told my parents tomorrow that i wanted to call home but i forgot, they would think that "it's alright. you're busy with your studies." but that's not the point. it just show how much i care for them.

then a question came upon me:

when you leave your house today,

have you kiss your loved ones and tell them how much you love them?

honestly, i haven't. not because i stayed in hall. but i hope you have. though it's not our culture to kiss them before you leave your house, it is a sweet little gesture that will brighten the rest of their day. they will feel much appreciated by you. the problem with our culture is that we often think that action speaks louder than words. but honestly, i feel that it is comforting to hear from them.

if you're like me, it's alright sweeties. just do it everyday from tomorrow morning onwards... =) *hugs. and now, i shall leave you to enjoy the song... ... ...

PHIL COLLINS - ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE



Lyrics:-------
She calls out to the man on the street
sir, can you help me?
Its cold and Ive nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?

He walks on, doesnt look back
He pretends he cant hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, its another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, its just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see shes been crying
Shes got blisters on the soles of her feet
Cant walk but shes trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that shes been there
Probably been moved on from every place
cos she didnt fit in there

Oh think twice...

starting to dislike her simply because...

i think she has a serious problem. her mood can change drastically and unreasonably (hmm..or maybe unreasonable to us but i guess she should know it best, lah). sometimes, she just confuses me. i don't know what makes her unhappy about; and when she's upset. i don't understand why she is sad, who is getting on her nerves and how can she not be so insensitive towards the feelings of other whom she cares for.

whenever i asked her why she's like this, she will find some reasons. but i think it's an excuse. there is no reason for one to be unhappy, upset, angry, jealous about. i believe whatever reasons she gives are CRAP! she has the same problem that happen couple of years ago. angry for ridiculous reasons, upset over microscopic stuff.

sometimes, i think people just tend to remember the not-so-nice part and totally forget about how sweet and caring the person has always been. you forget how much love, care and concern that person has showered you with because you simply take it for granted. you tend to amplify the negatives and intensify your scrutiny of the person's actions that piss you off. because so such magnification, she has "successfully" making herself; and others upset. well done, girl!

the truth is not everyone is like you. don't expect people to think and behave the way you want it. there are differences in people and that makes it interesting. every new person you meet is a mystery. when you "unwrap" them (figuritively), you'll be surprised because who knows it is a rare gem. isn't that makes gift-unwrapping exciting?! i mean seriously, if you want people to behave the way you want and talk the things you like, why don't you clone them and program them?

i hope you get what i'm trying to say. THEY ARE GEMS AND THEY ARE THE REASON TO YOUR SMILE. without them, you won't be who you are today. give yourself and others a chance and space. love them like you love yourself (or maybe you should learn to love yourself first).

be sweet and nice. don't deprive yourself and others.

that was quite sudden. it caught me off guard and i didn't know how to react. all i know is that i didn't feel good. if you read Harry Potter, it is as if dementors have came and suck all my happiness away. sorrows and sadness just engulfed me. negative thoughts were racing through my mind. my heart dropped and no motivation to make it pump again. (haha..okay~ i exaggerated). but honestly, that fact changed my the joyful mood instantaneously. just snap your finger NOW, yarpz! this is how fast my feelings change.

the feeling is beyond description. not sure if you feel the same way before, it is a mixture of worry, sadness, excitement and some unknown feelings. they just came to me and swept me off my feet. i didn't want to think about it now.

i thought we have given it a thought before. it suddenly just makes me feel insecure. you sound that you have no faith; and making me feels as if you're giving up. that explains my worry. i am sad because we can no longer spend so much time like now. i guess we have to go through this phase but just a little longer than others. on the bright side, i'm quite excited though not sure over what. but i guess that makes us cherish the time together now and near-future even more. anyway, absence makes the heart grows fonder..hee (a bit off suddenly..hmm)

all i want to say is i want to believe in this. yes, believe in us. as i've said, it's not going to be easy but i guess we will if we want. have a little faith in...US!

six days to my first paper: forensic science.
lots of memory work. tomorrow i'll start studying for it.

eight days to my second paper: mass media and culture.
i simply love the modules. and amazingly, the readings are not as boring as others. the lecturer and T.A are very "liberal". i just love the political jokes. so hilarious and enjoyable to mock at the 'holy trinity'. i never once dislike attending lectures and in fact, i think the 2-hrs long tutorial every fortnight is just not enough.

thirteen days to my last paper in NUS: culture industries.
gosh! totally hate this module. don't know what the heck it is about. what a good paper to end with!

today was fun. i set my alarm at 8am but i actually woke half an hour earlier. i wondered why i woke up before the alarm clock went off. i kinda realised i was awake by shockness..hmm..so cool, right..somebody thought he can surprise me but amazingly, i was better at surprising people! haha =P surprised him with an empty bed when he opened the door..

then he "sort of" found me in the toilet. didn't really think the time was tight for him (since he didn't tell me the night before), i took my time to shower and changed. then i went to have breakfast. being a muddle-head for once, i ordered something that needed lots of time to eat. but then just how much time-consuming can two slices of bread and two soft-boiled eggs take? haha..i think i must have pissed him again. oops, i'm sorry!

but then, i just couldn't be bothered. instead, i felt good. i think i should be in my ZEN mode so that i won't be cranky. i would be more cheerful and smiley! you know, i'll keep my cool so that I WON'T BITE!

back at hom; over the dinner table, we were talking about the car service. i think i'm the true owner of the car. apparently, the one of the co-owners of the car had to call and asked me what type of lubricant to buy. the other owner thought i conducted some FAQ session or something. She asked me so many question about what to do when the car was in service and etc. but i think i sound more like the technician and customer service consultant.

we also talked about going for holiday right after my exam. yarpz, 5th Dec. but after checking the air tickets, it's quite expensive. so most probably, just go to Pulai Spring or Genting with his friends. but i'm worried, worried about SP since the exco in-charging of the backstage are not around for the holi. after discussing with qj, i decided to take over backstage and da to take care of front of house. i think it's an learning experience for me since i'm always involved at the front of house. i hope this holi will not have any problems and able to accomplish as much as possible so that in Sem 2, it will not be that hectic.

last night, i was talking to mf on msn. he asked me what i was feeling now. i told him i was indifferent. though it was my last lecture last night, i didnt feel sad. i guess it was a mixed feeling since i am going to embark on a new journey. well, i miss school; definitely.

alright, talking about school, i think i should go mug for my exams.. jiayou jiayou jiayou, kexi!

okay, i guess she'll shut up from now on! oh wait, that's nearly impossible. i recommend her to speak when necessary. on a safe side, just say 'yes or no'. these words are rather neutral. she's thinking. considering. finally, she's not going. i think it's right that she decided not to go. i guess if she turns up there, maybe you'll think that she has some agenda to be there.

"hey girl, don't bother! seriously, JUST WHATEVER!" i told her.

it's just hurtful when she knows that he has doubts in her. come on, she's just trying. she needs his support, NOT throwing a bucket of cold water on her..brr..does he has any idea how cold that can be? but well, good job for murdering that effort!

i continued, "but girl, sometimes i guess you're just rushing into things. you know changes don't just appear and you can't expect people to accept instantenously, right. it's not Christmas. i mean, even it is Christmas and if Santa ever appear in front of you, you still need time to accept the fact and the gift. you'll then appreciate the beauty of patience. so, promise me that you'll give it some time. you know what, i'm just glad weekend is here! we can hang out and spend some time together. go out and be under the sun. spend a little time with yourself, do something you like or enjoy. it helps, trust me!"

I AM A MEAN GIRL! (at least i think i am one now.)

my words are full of thorns and sacarsm. it's kinda getting out of hand, i feel. i hate being like that because it just shuts people up. i guess it leaves no room for people to talk to me. it's just a turn-off to talk to me. i don't want to be friend-less or lose anybody because of my lousy form of communications. oh gosh, isn't it an irony?! a communication major graduate-to-be doesnt know how to communicate with people properly. =(

it seems like my short-temper has made a comeback. not sure if i'm too sensitive or what, i feel that my mood can change drastically in a short time. like one moment i can get angry; then the next moment i can be normal and talk about it. the sudden transition of mood scares me. is it that because i can't develop the anger into a "full-blown" one or is it i can get over it real fast?

i used to think before i get angry. i'll try to reason things with myself before getting mad at people or things. but now, i think i just fa xiao jie pi qi. i dont want to be like that! it makes me like an unreasonable girl and feels like a spoiled brat. I AM NOT!

i miss him.

it was just so weird. i felt myself so clingy. i can't think of any reason for acting like that. i guess because the time that we are going to spend is decreasing from today onwards. he sleeps while i study in the day; i sleep when he is studying. but come to think about it, it's not that bad lah. then we won't be disturbing each other. both of us can concentrate better. hmm..did i just make myself sound as if i've no discipline and that i'm easily distracted by him. or maybe he is my distraction (oops! =P)

oh gosh! i'm hungry again.

anyway, i'm starting to study for my exams but i'm thinking of picking up the vouchers at Centrepoint this Saturday! i need some retail therapy. though i know i'll burn my pocket, i just dont care! hee..

bro just recommended a new place for holiday. http://www.avillionportdickson.com/ looks good, isn't it. but i wonder how much for the total cost. i want to go Taiwan too. seriously, just anywhere is fine. heehee..after all, it's the companion. =)

annoyed.

some idiot stole my STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE water bottle in hall library! seriously, it's less than 10bucks. i can't believe that her (or maybe his) integrity costs so little. first, my pail. now, my water bottle.

sounds evil but whoever stole MY WATER BOTTLE will choke when drinking water.

argh!

i seriously don't understand.

for what you want to bring up again. you know very well that he doesn't like it. i thought we had gone through this over and over again. it simply just didnt get into your head. if you want to say, just tell us, not him. how many times must we repeat this? don't bring it up all the time. if you want, just remind him when the time comes. argh!

and you! i can understand why you are so unhappy about it but do you have to ignore her?honestly, i think you are just being petty. can't you see she's trying to give in? you said as long as we are not affected by it, it doesn't matter. looks like you are REALLY very affected by it.

what's wrong with you guys?! or maybe it's not your fault, it's mine. i should not have brought up a topic that will indirectly link to that topic. i thought we were over it. come on, give me a break! it's super tiring to bring this up over and over again. it's not worthy to get upset with each other because it's only that FREAKING 3 days out of the 365 days. guess what, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH IT ANYMORE!

finally! finished unpacking after moving back to my own room. it's such a chore to move in and out. in a couple of weeks' time, i'm going to move out AGAIN! argh, irritating~ ah!

he said i'm emotionally unstable today?! hmm..i kinda disagree actually. i think i'm alright but maybe i look stressed out. need to hand in my prototype tomorrow at 8am (which is impossible for me to wake up at 7.59am to hand in.) so for sure, i need to hand in before bedtime tonight. oh well, the worst is i'm only 50% done and i'm still blogging here.

maybe i shall slack for another half an hour then go for a quick jog. then have dinner and get to some serious business - COMPLETE AT LEAST 80% of the PROJECT.

just came back from Square2. intending to buy a pair of slippers. instead i bought a new pair of covered shoes! haha..my sis thought was not bad and anyway, it's super cheap. so i just bought it. yay! it's baby pink (yucks! sound so bimbotic) so i guess it's quite sweet lah. =) but i can foresee that it will get dirty. so i must start walking properly and gently.

when i got home last night, my dad insisted on checking his email. he's just so excited to show us his achievement in golf - "on top of line". apparently, he explained that this line is drawn during tournament and it is pointing to the hole. so since his golf ball is "on top of the line", it means that he is very accurate. and i said "wah, so zhai." he just laughed and said "no lah, a bit of luck also." then i thought "haha..ya right ~ trying hard to be modest."

see how wide his smile is and how small his eyes are. oh, probably the sun is too glaring lah..haha..the proud golfer with his golf ball on top of the line.

i felt bad yesterday. i realised i haven't been such a nice person after all. sometimes i feel like as if i'm a mannequin. so expressionless and emotionless when someone said or did something really sweet for me. i also can be quite indifferent and insensitive towards things around me. my gosh! i can't believe i've got such a low EQ. i don't think it's cos of mafia-ness. or may be it is?! i'm so confused.

i remembered i did say something like i don't enjoy watching romance cos' it makes people live in their "fantasy". i kind of regretted saying this. i guess i seriously need to appreciate these shows. amazingly, when my mom and sis cried over some scene that are quite sad, they can tear. sometimes, when they are watching those scenes that are undeniably sweet, they can go "aww..so sweet!" but i just watch with my two eyes, thinking "oh come on, it's just a drama series. besides, how sweet can it be. i mean who can be so sweet especially we are in a place where everyone is so realistic." i think it is just self-denial that such sweet person doesn't exist to do romantic stuff on his or her love ones.

i guess gene is right. i need some anger management class. when i'm hurt or sad, i don't really cry. it's just the feeling of wanting to cry but the tear well is dried up. i'm so pathetic that i don't even know when i should be angry. i haven't been really mad over something or at someone. i can get over it quite fast, i think. but luckily, i do know what is joy and i think i know i can laugh hard. i should start watching lovey-dovey drama, i guess.

anyway, i went to watch 'max payne' last night after forensic sci with couple of people. i thought i couldn't make it for the movie but it turned out that my class ended at 9.30pm. da and i find the movie was not bad but boyan and junhao think otherwise. anyway, it's very subjective.

oh ya, the most important thing of all is... ...

MY FIRST BOUQUET OF FLOWERS

it's my first bouquet but it's not the only flowers i ever received okay (get it right! haha..). needless to say, it's from Damien! so sweet of him. it was really a SWEET SURPRISE! not acting bimbotic, i swear i didn't expect it. he was standing outside PageOne bookstore and i was walking towards him. then i didn't notice what's behind his hand. then (ta-da!), the red roses. feel like giving him a hug but i don't really like to PDA (haha..=P)

actually, it makes me feel guilty because i haven't been really nice to him. i think i'm only good at making people feel guilty and i tend to contradict myself. i think it's so silly of me. yesterday, i said i can't make it for the movie. i told him to join them instead of staying in hall. apparently, he wanted to wait for me after my class so that we could go somewhere. after that when he was going with them, i said something nasty to make him feel guilty (i shall save the details. can't shame myself any further =/) that's why he bought the roses. it's so thoughtful of him but it makes me a sinner.

all i want to say is "thank you for the sweet little gestures. it really means a lot to me. though i can't really express myself (ironically, i'm an Art student, majoring in COMMUNICATIONS and new media!); i mean i don't really know how to express myself very well, i hope you know i'm learning to be a better girl everyday. thank you for the patience and not giving up on me because i'm such a lousy gf. i'm learning to transform into a real kexi, not the mannequin. you mean the world to me, darling!"

Meaning of Color of Roses

- Red: Sincere Love & Respect, Courage & Passion
Send red roses to convey the message of your passionate love for that someone; saying "I love you"

- Pink: Grace and Gentility, the rose of sweet thoughts.
Send deep pink roses to show your appreciation & gratitude; saying "Thank you" Send light pink roses to convey admiration and sympathy

- Yellow: In the Victorian times, yellow roses meant jealousy. But today, they signify friendship, joy, gladness and freedom, the promise of a new beginning.
Send yellow roses to brighten up someone's day; to congratulate your friends and loved ones during Joyous occasions.

- White: Spiritual love & Purity, the rose of confession, the bridal rose; "You are heavenly", "I am worthy of you"
Commonly used as traditional bridal bouquet during weddings to symbolize a happy love. You can nevertheless use them to convey the message of "You are heavenly, I miss you"

- Lavender: Love at first sight and enchantment
Send lavender roses of course, to convey the message of your "love at first sight" with that special someone. You can nevertheless also send them if you would like to make a special impression.

- Orange: Passionate desire, pure enthusiasm and fascination
An excellent choice for a new relationship that you wish to pursue further. It can nevertheless also be referring to a new business partnership.

Meaning of Number of Roses

- 1 Rose : Love at the first sight; you are the one
- 2 Roses : Mutual love between both, deeply in love with one another
- 3 Roses : I love you
- 6 Roses : I wanna be yours
- 7 Roses : I'm infatuated with you
- 9 Roses : An Eternal love, together as long as we live
- 10 Roses : You are perfect
- 11 Roses : You are my treasured one; the one I love most in my life
- 12 Roses : Be my steady
- 13 Roses : Secret Admirer
- 15 Roses : I am truly sorry, please forgive me
- 20 Roses : Believe me, I am sincere towards you
- 21 Roses : I am devoted to you
- 24 Roses : Can't stop thinking about you, 24 hours everyday
- 33 Roses : Saying "I love you" with great affection
- 36 Roses : I will remember our romantic moments
- 40 Roses : My love for you is genuine
- 50 Roses : Regretless love, this is
- 99 Roses : I will love you for as long as I live
- 100 Roses: Harmoniously together in a century; remaining devoted as couple till ripe-old age
- 101 Roses: You are my one and only love
- 108 Roses: Please marry me!
- 365 Roses: Can't stop thinking about you, each and everyday
- 999 Roses: Everlasting and Eternal love

to KK: just in case, you haven't listen to Jay's latest album, i recommend two songs:

1. 給我一首歌的時間

2. 說好的幸福呢

there was an earthquake in my room over the weekend. the tiles popped up. due to the uneven ground, the shelves were shaky and my stuff on the shelves were found on the ground. the destructions were as follows:

oh well, the feet wasn't destroyed but indirectly it was affected. apparently, because my room was super dusty, i tried to clean my feet using my another feet. so due to carelessness, my left heel "pulled" the right toe nail. it was really painful, i swear! then it bled since the sides were detached from the toe.

anyway, after the little incident, i suddenly thought of WWII because if i'm not wrong, one of the way that victims were tortured is to pull their nails out. i think it's totally crazy. i already made so much noise when nail was dangling, let alone them.

ahh! going for class.

i just don't get it. is it me or is is her? why is she acting like that for the past 24hours? alright, maybe i shouldn't have snapped at her. but she didn't have a friendly tone either (hmm..or maybe i'm too sensitive..). i can't remember exactly what happened but but i guess it goes like this:

it started yesterday morning. she asked me if i wanted to go to 'sing to the dawn' premiere this wednesday. then i told her i'll have to think about it because of my schedule. after that, she insisted that i gave her an answer. (i mean it's not that i kept quiet or something. i told you i need to think for a while right!) so, tat was when i snapped at her and said "don't want lah, don't want to go already lah."

and then we got into the car and as usal, drove them to have breakfast. apparently, my mom wanted to go thomson plaza to have breakfast. after that, she voiced out that the food there wasn't to her likings so she suggested the coffee shop at sin ming. and because nobody confirmed with me or anything, i just made a u-turn to thomson plaza since i'm on the lane 1. when i went into the filter lane, my mom then said "i thought we are going to the coffee shop". i just kept quiet because what can i say. if she really can't eat anything there, at most i u-turn again. nothing is a problem. but i guess she was hopping mad, she just raised her voice "ahh..never mind lah..eat here, eat here lor."

the thing is it's always a problem when we are deciding where to have our meals. apparently, there will bound to have objections after one suggested somewhere. so sometimes, we will say the person who pays shall have the biggest say; but even so, there's still objection. so sometimes, they make the driver decide. oh well, the fact is i'm fine to eat anywhere. so i'm not the major problem. so you can see, how confusing a driver, and that's me, can be sometimes. remembered there was once i drove them to the wrong place. but seriously, as long as there's something to fill you up, does it really matter anywhere?!

so anyway, it happend again yesterday morning. i drove them to the wrong place to have breakfast (haha..no funny). seriously, it's really a wrong timing to make such mistake. oh well, a hungry man is an angry man but i figured she's not hungry lah. it's just that i had snapped at her 15mins ago. the angst is there but not travelling at the full speed yet. but after i made such a mistake, her temper is going at full speed.

to you: hello, if you're not happy to eat in there, then say it out. ok, i mean you have already voice it out. but it just a wrong turn. if you like it, you can tell me to u-turn. don't have to sound like as if i'm forcing posion down your throat. if you think i've a horrendous attitude, i think you're not better off than me. at least, i admit that i've an attitude problem at times. by the way, just in case you didn't figure that out, i didn't purposely drove you to the place you don't want to eat. it just a freaking mistake, believe it or not. but if you want to be an angry person, there's nothing i can do because that's your problem, not mine.

it's very silly of me. as i was writing, i think i'm quite affected by it actually; else i wouldn't have blogged about it either. anyway, i just hope evening comes quickly. it make me sound like a coward or hermit. but i'm sure i'm not running away. it's just that i think i need some space to think about it. don't know why but i suddenly feel like saying 'fucking hell' to someone.

DISCLAIMER: the 'someone' is NOT her, it is the next person that step on my tail.

this is so maddening! it's not the first time. apparently, whenever my dad goes golfing, he will forget about everything. He only remembers his golf balls, his clubs, his bag. oh and most importantly, his passport!

so as usual, dad went golfing early in the morning and he forgot to wake me up! i think what's on his mind is his swing and how those small little white balls roll on the green. (mom is nodding and agreeing to what i say - dad, can't you see mom needs your attention?! haha..)

then i messaged him "morning, daddy (supposed to sound sarcastic)! you forgot to wake me up. why you didn't wake me up?" i bet tonight when he comes home, he'll say "you didn't confirm with me, right."

i'm truly my dad's daughter..haha..

didn't realise i haven been updating my post till damien commented that. (haha..ok, it's my live feed not working, not yours.) *sigh..honestly, i haven really got time for myself. what i mean is that i'm dying for retail therapy and a movie at some nice place. for the past 36hours, i've been really busy (and i realised i haven't said what i'm busy with) with assignments, workshop and my man. oh well, i'm sure he'll read this post because he has been stretching his neck, waiting for this post. so..i'm sorry that i've been so unconcerned and insensitivity.

i've to apologise to him because it's just so atrocious how i've reacted to him on thurs night when he called.

DA: "hello."
KX: (happily) "hello, you're awake!"
DA: (weakly) "i'm going to see a doctor."
KX: "who's going with you?"
DA: (can't remember but i guess he was speechless)

i mean, "hello kexi..what's wrong with you manz.." after the couple of seconds of awkward silence, i corrected myself by saying "i'll go with you." seriously, i felt like slapping myself for being so insensitive and sounded so unconcerned.

so we went NUH and spent like at least 4hrs there before Da could wink and smile at me again. it was quite a horrible experience actually to see someone in pain till like that. i think my pms is also not as terrible as that. at least i dont have to go through six injections.

but one thing that i felt good about is the kinship. Da's father came down when it was already like 2am near 3. it's so heartwarming! =) it just showed how much concerns and love the family memebers have for each other. it reminded me of my mom and sis. i just sprained my ankle and they rushed down within half an hour to pick me up so that the next day i can go see a sensei.

talking about that incident. it was super funny. lucky my dad didn't buy a manual car else i can't drive myself to see the sensei the next day; or maybe lucky i didn't sprain my right ankle. after seeing the sensei, my mom suggested to go near by for lunch. i was joking about how cruel she was to ask a 'bai-ka' to drive her for lunch and she sits comfortably on the passenger's seat. i guess there's no relationship more important than kinship.

coming back to the main topic: so i went to visit Da the next day. then i told him some "bedtime" stories and he fell asleep. again, before he slept, he asked what if i won't be around when he woke up. i broke my promise. i stepped out to buy something to fill my empty stomach. then when i came back, i saw him sleeping and thought that he didn't know. when he woke up, then i realised he knew i was away for awhile. how silly of me!

today had been a good day! although it was my super long day, i quite enjoyed today's lectures.

in my culture industries lecture, we had a guest speaker - Kumar! he is a superb speaker. he poked fun of the local policies, the races and others. he also spoke about his career and a little about his history. he also talk about how he managed to overcome all those nasty words used on him.

i think i have to agree on what he said:
1. "live for yourself!"
2. "you have to accept yourself before others can accept you."
3. "there's a reason for everyone to be in this world."

well actually, it's really quite true. but how many of us can do it? or maybe i'm speaking for myself. like i've mentioned yesterday, i think i've somehow lost my mafia-ness. i used to be able to dismiss all the comments and remarks. in the past, i can convince myself - "it doesn't matter what they say about you, as long as it pleases you. it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you don't live with regrets; and don't do anything that is against your conscience."just felt that these days i've becoming more reliant on people. sometimes i feel that i'm no longer indepedent; and not doing stuff myself using my own hands and my own means.

i mean it's really nice to have friends around you to help. but i don't want to rely on them all the time. after all, i should learn to say "I CAN DO IT"; and be the cool mafia all over again =)

i got very restless in the evening. it rained. i can't go out. i can't jog. maybe i shall do it tmr evening. alright, i think it's time for me to do my projects...Zzz...

WHERE IS MY MAFIA-ness?

i shall be back to myself. the couldn't care much self. you say whatever you want to say. i do whatever i want to do. i need to be independent again. i can't afford to be reliant and be a burden. keep moving, girl! oh and btw, i'm a chi-na girl.

time check: 3pm (to be exact). the time that this post was created was the moment when i felt like sweating it out. so i went for a jog after uploading these pictures.


was a crazy week. having to hand in three assignments in the same day is MADNESS! these assignments made me missed out playing Buaya Week.


though i've missed out the fun of playing somebody's mystery angel, i still being loved by an angel who didn't bother to be ANONYMOUS.

after my forensic science class, which was 10pm on a friday night, i got back to my room. and i saw my door got buaya-ed with this small, little A4 sized paper.on a closer look, i 've no idea what is the message that this small, little A4 sized paper trying to convey.

Option 1: Someone was buaya-ing Damien by addressing to him and playing a prank on me by signing off using my name; and pasting it on my door.
Option 2: please see Option 1.
Option 3: please read Option 1 and 2. (haha..)


when i got back hall on Sunday night, someone delievered a glowing heart and it was just for me!


the glowing heart with a rose that never wilt =)

SURPRISE NO 1: it is always so nice to have someone prepare breakfast for you especially when it is ai xin zhao chan! (though i'm not a fan of bacon)
SURPRISE NO 2: the warmth by these tealight candles on my table melted my heart! aww..so sweet..the flame melts the candle, warmth melts my heart. (and apparently, the candles were super near my lappy..lucky it didn't melt =P )

"SURPRISE" NO 3: surprise was in inverted commas because i already know that i'll be receiving something. but i little did i expect to have the most unique gift: a pair of keychains that has both our names. so cool manz!
SURPRISE NO 4: after a long day in school, i was super hungry. it's like telepathic; a seafood spaghetti was presented to you for dinner..yummy! =) so tia xing!
SURPRISE NO 5: i can now gaze the stars in my room =) the "stars" are always shining upon you as you sleep under them. so romantic!
though i missed the Buaya Week, i guess after all, i didn't lose much =)

hope you like it! i mean if you don't there is nothing i can do. oh well, just too bad lah okay..haha..

HAPPY BUAYA WEEK!

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED.

looks like you're actually having lots of fun. so i guess you aren't really deprive of me buaya-ing you. let others do the job for just seven days.

just so sorry that i can't really buaya you in this buaya week (but that doesn't mean you can do a sloppy work on my door lor. so NOT sincere! buaya people so well..aiya, don't need to say the second part alr. you know yourself lah..hee =P)

it's kind of sad for me cos' this is my last semester and i can't play it for the last time..*sob sob..super busy with all my deadlines. there's nothing much i can do except photoshop. and yes, another over-used idea once again! also, i want to apologise for being unreasonable and cranky. i kinda just throw my tantrum. but then, i'm so glad you have been patient with me and willing to listen to me.

lots of thoughts when doing this and that. realized haven't done lots of stuff and take lots of pictures. but then, come to think about it, luckily we haven't, else i can't accommodate all the pictures in the small little frame.

black to ash brown.

i'm tired but i can't sleep. no time to sleep. i'm feeling nausea again but i guess it's because of digestion problem. again, left the pills in hall. -_-'''

scary project submission deadline, hate burning midnight oil, fear of permanent pigment, miss my contact lense very much.

come on, girl! jiayou x3

DAY 1 at 8.40AM: FRENCH TOAST WITH heart-shaped YOUTIAO.




to MM, from MM,
i'm just to shy to tell you but i guess actions speak louder than words.

jus cut my hair yesterday. the length of my hair is as long as; or rather as short as the first time when i cut off my long curly hair. but that's according to my sister.

after dinner, i met her up at the hotel to have dinner. when she came down from her office stairs, she said "you look so much better but why you still go and cut the length? I thought you want to have long hair already?" And i told her "cos' it gets screwed up whenever i try to keep it long." apparently, i always go to the wrong place to trim my hair so well, that's just too bad.

this was how long my hair were before i cut it. =)

this is a close-up one..yarpz..they were once my curly long hair..

and yyyYYYaaarRRrpppPPzzz... i cut it WITH NO REGRETS!

this was how short it had become..

actually, i don't really hate short hair. sometimes, i feel i look better with short hair (and my dad agrees!) he was so happy that i cut it short then. i wonder what gave me the courage to make such a great change. guess i was stressed then..honestly, i felt good after cutting it. new and refresh kexi!

looking at the pictures, i feel like going somewhere..out of Singapore. =) cruise trip!

finally, after a day's work..came home this late morning to find my house covered with plastic sheets because of some paintwork. okay, NOT SOME since the whole house is now covered with fresh paint.

the color used for the master's bedroom and living room is barely white..i mean, BARLEY white. apparently, it isn't that white as i imagined it to be. it's so-called off-white or pale yellow. but not bad lah..so no complaints. =P

and my room is pink in color..finally..hurray! so SssswweeeeT lah! (haha..so bimbotic!)
oh, what a pity! can't really see the color from this picture. it's okie..still can see the pi-ink ka-ler My Melody. can you make a guess, between the two photo frame, which one belongs to me?

since my house is kind of under "mini" upgrading, how can my dad possibly slip the chance of changing the lightings. and thanks to him, i almost have to shower in the dark..haha..my sister and i freaked out as we were told that we might be showering in the dark. and we started to be make some noise and my dad said "haiz..the three women in the house..." which is of course my mom, sister and me! poor dad, the one and only man..but hey! not every man get to have three women in the house ok..haha..

lucky we have a table lamp that we bought from IKEA which i didn't bring to hall. you'll never know when you need it in an innovative way.

luckily, IKEA has a extendable table lamp. long enought to be extended into the bathroom.

yeah! we don't need to undergo "army training" - shower in the dark. VICTORY!
*tink! what a brilliant idea. haha. my bimbo sister keeps saying that our bathroom is so retro cos' of the table lamp and the door. just a pity that the bathroom door is not those jade green with brown wooden frames, else it'll be really retro and ILOVERETRO!

totally hate the feeling. don't feel like doing anything, going anywhere; except lying on my bed and hugging my strawberry. oh gosh! feel like crap. how can i feel like doing nothing when my test is tomorrow! this is horrible...

i felt so bad. totally forgotten to call KK before he left sg. to KK: if you're reading this, I AM SORRY that i cant send you off. but when you come back, we shall hang out k (though by the time you come back, it's freaking near my exams..i'll still try to make time..oh well, if not after my exams lah, which is early Dec!)

time to do some stretching to "dispense" the cramps.

i hear somebody's complain..complaining about my priority list. alright, for you i delicate this to post to you.

the first time i heard of you was at the breakfast table. i had no idea who you were, where you came from, what you did because i wasn't interested and i didn't want to care about it. the first time i saw you was when you came to my room and asked me to attend the formal dinner with you as an offically unofficial date. though i hesitated, i didn't know why eventually i agreed to it. (that's not the point, the point is i STILL miss the singles' table, shucks! =P haha)

ever since then, we hit it off pretty well.

i don't know how but somehow, i'm beginning to lay my trust on you (yarp, at an alarming rate!) it shock everyone around me because this is not my usual style. i guess i shouldn't use the word 'style'. many people didn't expect it and they were kind of curious what was going on. i believe until now they still don't understand me and my decisions. i know people are talking about us and honestly, i don't enjoy to be in the lead in the hot topic. i hate to think about what they talk about us. instead of being supportive, it hurts to find out that my friends (or maybe i think they are my friends) are also discussing about it too.

but seriously, i don't care and i don't give a sh*t about it (but by blogging about it, i guess i've already been bothered by it, what an irony!) because it's between us. i believe in myself, like i have faith in you. i surprised everyone but BABY, I'M AMAZED BY YOU.

a bit no originality but oh well you know, i can't sing. i don't know how play guitar. we are not at a place where i can dedicate a song to bunny. so what i can do is to copy and paste the lyrics of Lone Star's Amazed to you.

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with youIt just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

one down, one more to go!!!

to-do list:

1. NM3216 Prototype

2. NM3216 Weekly Update

3. NM3222 Reflection

4. MUG MUG MUG for FORENSIC SCIENCE

5. NM3222 Proposal

let's focus and work hard together!

honestly, it's getting on my nerve because YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

i'm so sick of telling you that I AM OVER IT. i expect you to move on like i do and stop dwelling in the past. come on, LIVE ON AND JUST LET IT GO. i mean seriously, what can you do? find doreamon and ask him to help you manipulate the time? it doesn't matter anymore and it is no longer important. how can i convince you? hadn't i told you before that i would move on after i had finished my piece that night?

i get so tired of repeating myself... really... sometimes, i feel as if you don't really understand me. why do you have to think that i'm so emotionally unstable? is it just because i don't make a big hu-ha and kick a big fuss out of it? i always believe that i'm strong girl. when i say go, i will not stop; and when i stop and it doesn't work out the way i want, i will not hesitate to stick around. believe me, i am much stronger than you think. i am really clueless on how to convince you any further. the thing is i don't usually hide my feelings because if i do, i'm a blardy idiot lah! i am your girl, how can i not possibly not tell you if i meet something that totally upsetting.

i want you to support me, not feeling sorry for me. i want you to smile for me, not feeling angry for me. like you always say, time will tell but you didn't expect that it reveal so fast. unbelieving fast and you are shocked. it disappoint you, right. you know what, that's just too bad.

now i want to tell you: you think that he is ideal and very capable but look what happens. life is unpredictable, let alone a person. i mean if he is not willing to work things out, isn't it equals to nothing? now we have a living proof, isn't it. what i want to say is "time will tell and you'll know that i have made the right choice. i hope you get what i'm driving at."

nothing is definite. so what if you think highly of this person, didn't he turn out to be a disappointment? so what if you see him as an ideal, didn't he just prove you wrong? there's no time for you to stand there and keep thinking "what if" because "what if" doesn't exist. OWN THE MOMENT and stop looking back.

went Supreme Court yesterday and i said "superb"! there were security systems to check for sharp items (i mean duh..) or whatever that might be threatening. as Cylysce and I were sorta early, we viewed the gallery. after that we went to one of the courtroom whereby the introduction of the Supreme Court was carried out.

the people from MarComm told us the facilities, technology etc. to demonstrate how high-tech a digital projector is, they used pictures that were taken from the crime scenes and when the autopsy were carried out. and i said "raw".

but the projector is indeed good cos' the campus' projectors need time to focus. this projector from the courtroom can zoom in and out; and it still focus very well.

after that, we were brought to the disc where there was a viewing gallery overlooking the river and the spectators' seats of the F1 (but not the track!) the highest part of the disc is actually Court of Appeal as it signifies its "status" and importance.

before we left the Supreme Court, we went to the hearings of RTC. i guess this is a civil lawsuit, the feeling is not that tense. the judge seemed relaxed and he had a great sense of humor. but the two lawyers were rather aggressive and they tried to outtalk each other. the judge stopped them and asked them if they remembered that one of the "rules" stated that "at anyone time, there should be only one speaker."

the highlight of the day was of cos the TIMBRE. nice place! the music is good. really enjoyed myself and i said "wonderful tonight".

TO HKsquare:

because i know you're reading this and you guys are my best of friends, i just want to tell you guys that i'm with somebody and i doubt we can spend V'day together. aww..i'm sorry, broke my promise.

but i promise i'll always be the tomato you guys love to hang out with.

with love,
tomato

several ideas to put something on my door:
1. "NO ENTRY EXCEPT AUTHORISED PERSONNEL."
2. "NO KNOCKING AFTER 12AM."

gosh, i look so hideous these days. walking zombie, not really zombie.....it's PANDA (just like my slippers). shucks! i shouldnt have bought the panda slippers. *CURSED.

went lorry supper last night and was back in hall at around 3.30am. but only go to Disneyland at about 5am or so (crazy woman!). slpt at 4am the night before lorry supper.

but i really didnt mind at all cos' it was my FAVE chatting session. although i was super sleepy and my eyes were tired, i guess it didnt show it at all (cos i've bigger eyes?) opps! sorry, KK and Qi, no offence; it's not personal atttacks. i really appreciate and treasure the times we can chat till this late. hope there are more to come..

next week is midterm break. yay (in a not-so-excited tone), it's today till next Sun! and i promise to STUDY HARD; chiong LIBRARY everyday. glad someone keep me on check so that i wont slack off. =P hee...

but on Wed, i'll be going to Supreme Court (cos' of my Forensic Science module..so exciting!) i was thinking since i'm out, i might plan for some other activities. one shot play hard as a reward for working hard on Mon and Tues . gosh! how can i be so sure i'll be a chao mugger on Mon and Tues =/ keep me on check, will you?

i was thinking maybe i can go Arts House or something since it's near Supreme Court. Or go to some place like pubs or clubs since it is LADIES' NIGHT..hee..come to think about it, nothing is confirmed yet =( N.A.T.O.

having so many people around me who love me; care for me; support me all is really fortunate. i'm such a lucky girl!

home is a place where you seek shelter when the world outside crushes. hypothetically, if i meet some hurtful incidents, i'm sure home is where i can seek shelter for and nurse all wounds. family members play multiple roles; not just your father, mother and siblings.

my dad is like a walking ATM.. haha =P jokes aside, he is like a chauffeur cos' he always drives us to places we want to go (but that was before i got my license). to me, he is like a coach because he guides me in his favourite game. he is a mafia cos' he is always protecting me and i remembered he told my sis and i "if anyone bully you in school, must come back and tell me okie. i will take care of it." he is also a buddy because we discuss about sports; cars; golf (just anything under the sun lah!)

my mom is like my B.F.F because i will tell her anything, whatever had happened and she patiently listens to me. She is like a guardian angel because she is always very protective towards me. A private nurse because whenever i fell sick, she never feel to take good care of me. I remembered those days when i had high fever, which was once every one or two months, because it meant sleepless nights for her. She's like a nutritionist because she always cook healthily and help me to clean the apples so that i can bring to school every week.

sis is my advisor because she always opens my eyes to see things in another perspective. whenever we sing, she is the best person to duet with. she is my movie date. she is my feelings (sounds funny, but it's true) because whenever i hurt myself, she feels the pain more than i do. Just almost a year ago when i sprained my foot, i called her and told her about it. she actually cried when i told her how i fell and sprained my ankle. honestly, i felt so touched. like i always say; if i feel pain, she feels 10 times or more painful than me.

nothing ranks above my family..

shall continue why i'm the fortunate girl the next time =)

yesterday, was not feeling great at all. so, just want to say three messages to three different people.

to her: i'm so sorry about yesterday afternoon. totally understand the worries and concerns. but guess, were just too impatient to drill the whole idea into each other's head. failed to listen. // honestly, was kinda offended yesterday. strong believer of someone who is very rational and emotionally-strong; and dead sure that you agree so too. may be did too much inference or something, felt as if doubts and disappointment surfaced. was totally frustrated. felt distant so much that the conversation had failed and communication had broken down. // you know what, i feel like hugging and telling you now that "i'm sorry and i love you so much".

to her: thanks for the call last night (it means a lot to me). thanks for being so patient and understanding. thanks for listening. thanks for all the advices and the trust. thank you so much for the reassurance. // it was really comforting after a horrible conversation (bet you knew, else wouldnt have called). glad you understand and try to see things at the same perspective. promise you that will give it a thought. was so touched towards the end of conversation. i promise i will. know we treasure each other so much; never have doubts in it.

to you: i'm so sorry about last night. i just don't want to add on to more unnecessary pressure. just want you to be comfortable and at ease and not worried about it. // thanks for the assurance and the patience. thanks for always being a listener. thanks for cheering me up. thanks for all the care and concern. thanks for being just there. // honestly, really hope you can tell me about your thoughts, feelings for anything and everything. sometimes, i really love to be a listener too. //like the gist of a song goes: it won't be easy. there will be times when we're apart. but i promise..........