i felt bad yesterday. i realised i haven't been such a nice person after all. sometimes i feel like as if i'm a mannequin. so expressionless and emotionless when someone said or did something really sweet for me. i also can be quite indifferent and insensitive towards things around me. my gosh! i can't believe i've got such a low EQ. i don't think it's cos of mafia-ness. or may be it is?! i'm so confused.
i remembered i did say something like i don't enjoy watching romance cos' it makes people live in their "fantasy". i kind of regretted saying this. i guess i seriously need to appreciate these shows. amazingly, when my mom and sis cried over some scene that are quite sad, they can tear. sometimes, when they are watching those scenes that are undeniably sweet, they can go "aww..so sweet!" but i just watch with my two eyes, thinking "oh come on, it's just a drama series. besides, how sweet can it be. i mean who can be so sweet especially we are in a place where everyone is so realistic." i think it is just self-denial that such sweet person doesn't exist to do romantic stuff on his or her love ones.
i guess gene is right. i need some anger management class. when i'm hurt or sad, i don't really cry. it's just the feeling of wanting to cry but the tear well is dried up. i'm so pathetic that i don't even know when i should be angry. i haven't been really mad over something or at someone. i can get over it quite fast, i think. but luckily, i do know what is joy and i think i know i can laugh hard. i should start watching lovey-dovey drama, i guess.
anyway, i went to watch 'max payne' last night after forensic sci with couple of people. i thought i couldn't make it for the movie but it turned out that my class ended at 9.30pm. da and i find the movie was not bad but boyan and junhao think otherwise. anyway, it's very subjective.
it's my first bouquet but it's not the only flowers i ever received okay (get it right! haha..). needless to say, it's from Damien! so sweet of him. it was really a SWEET SURPRISE! not acting bimbotic, i swear i didn't expect it. he was standing outside PageOne bookstore and i was walking towards him. then i didn't notice what's behind his hand. then (ta-da!), the red roses. feel like giving him a hug but i don't really like to PDA (haha..=P)
actually, it makes me feel guilty because i haven't been really nice to him. i think i'm only good at making people feel guilty and i tend to contradict myself. i think it's so silly of me. yesterday, i said i can't make it for the movie. i told him to join them instead of staying in hall. apparently, he wanted to wait for me after my class so that we could go somewhere. after that when he was going with them, i said something nasty to make him feel guilty (i shall save the details. can't shame myself any further =/) that's why he bought the roses. it's so thoughtful of him but it makes me a sinner.
all i want to say is "thank you for the sweet little gestures. it really means a lot to me. though i can't really express myself (ironically, i'm an Art student, majoring in COMMUNICATIONS and new media!); i mean i don't really know how to express myself very well, i hope you know i'm learning to be a better girl everyday. thank you for the patience and not giving up on me because i'm such a lousy gf. i'm learning to transform into a real kexi, not the mannequin. you mean the world to me, darling!"
Meaning of Color of Roses
- Red: Sincere Love & Respect, Courage & Passion
Send red roses to convey the message of your passionate love for that someone; saying "I love you"
- Pink: Grace and Gentility, the rose of sweet thoughts.
Send deep pink roses to show your appreciation & gratitude; saying "Thank you" Send light pink roses to convey admiration and sympathy
- Yellow: In the Victorian times, yellow roses meant jealousy. But today, they signify friendship, joy, gladness and freedom, the promise of a new beginning.
Send yellow roses to brighten up someone's day; to congratulate your friends and loved ones during Joyous occasions.
- White: Spiritual love & Purity, the rose of confession, the bridal rose; "You are heavenly", "I am worthy of you"
Commonly used as traditional bridal bouquet during weddings to symbolize a happy love. You can nevertheless use them to convey the message of "You are heavenly, I miss you"
- Lavender: Love at first sight and enchantment
Send lavender roses of course, to convey the message of your "love at first sight" with that special someone. You can nevertheless also send them if you would like to make a special impression.
- Orange: Passionate desire, pure enthusiasm and fascination
An excellent choice for a new relationship that you wish to pursue further. It can nevertheless also be referring to a new business partnership.
Meaning of Number of Roses
- 1 Rose : Love at the first sight; you are the one
- 2 Roses : Mutual love between both, deeply in love with one another
- 3 Roses : I love you
- 6 Roses : I wanna be yours
- 7 Roses : I'm infatuated with you
- 9 Roses : An Eternal love, together as long as we live
- 10 Roses : You are perfect
- 11 Roses : You are my treasured one; the one I love most in my life
- 12 Roses : Be my steady
- 13 Roses : Secret Admirer
- 15 Roses : I am truly sorry, please forgive me
- 20 Roses : Believe me, I am sincere towards you
- 21 Roses : I am devoted to you
- 24 Roses : Can't stop thinking about you, 24 hours everyday
- 33 Roses : Saying "I love you" with great affection
- 36 Roses : I will remember our romantic moments
- 40 Roses : My love for you is genuine
- 50 Roses : Regretless love, this is
- 99 Roses : I will love you for as long as I live
- 100 Roses: Harmoniously together in a century; remaining devoted as couple till ripe-old age
- 101 Roses: You are my one and only love
- 108 Roses: Please marry me!
- 365 Roses: Can't stop thinking about you, each and everyday
- 999 Roses: Everlasting and Eternal love
to KK: just in case, you haven't listen to Jay's latest album, i recommend two songs:
1. 給我一首歌的時間
2. 說好的幸福呢
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