trigonometry is fun! but sometimes they are simply just too complex to solve.

she doesn't see how she can solve it, or rather, how her tutor and her can solve it together. the problem doesn't lie on the triangle nor the tutor. it is her! she has a psychological problem.

i mean to solve it, all she needs to do is to use mnemonic to remeber the rules of trigonometry. but she can screw it. she is usually capable of turning all the facts and relationship of trigonometry into an unorthodox one. brilliant huh!

she needs to break through all her fears, anxieties and insecurities. she must believe that she can solve the trigonometry sum. i remember someone once told me that if you keep telling yourself that 'you can do it', everything will work out fine.

you are the evil yourself, weak-minded woman! nobody can help you if you don't try to expel it out yourself at the first place. it's all in your mind. don't push the 'red' button as and when you like it. don't test people's limit and push them into the corner. believe me, the most patient person may be intolerant and frustrated. mind you, it can get very ugly and nasty! by that time, everything is just too late.

so, be nice and don't be rude before it's too late. please do not come crying to me, telling me how regretful you are for acting like a b*itch.

then trust me, i will be a b*tch and tell you off - "you brought this upon yourself. blame no one but you. and honestly, it's just too bad."

had nothing better to do other than blogging.

it was raining these days. since when is the sun so shy in the mids of springtime? i met dementors at my house's back alley. they had kissed the bubbly f.k.x. nothing could stop them. no harry potter. no expecto patronus!

now i see a walking zombie around my house. so expressionless, so emotionless. absolutely a robot!

you know, people always said "the dusk is the darkest moment before dawn and before you can be 'enlighten', you have to get through the dusk." it's like sunshine after the rain. but i think i'm still in the dark side.

i need inspiration!

retail "therapy" is not really that helpful after all! =( it is an illusion; a smokescreen.

at the point of undergoing this therapy, the feeling was superb. but well, the aftermath was disastrous (when you get your bill!) it slaps you back to reality and you'll double the dosage of pain; got pinch in the pocket and heart..ouch!

anyway, i was smiling to myself all day. i guess it's cos' i feel more relieved after the interview and that i've got another interview tomorrow (hip hip hurray!) also, damien and i signed up for "head over heels" couple run 2009 (keke..). i've never participated in any run before. it's really memorable and significant as it marks my first-ever run in my 23 years of life. what's more, i've got my love running with me! i can't help it but just think that it's totally so cool lahz..plus, we can train together. what a brilliant idea to spice up your love life! can't wait to train with him.

err..i guess it's only me; trained by him. i bet he doesnt even need to train; 8km to him is like no kick!

depressed. stressed. totally lousy. so useless. hiding from the world. don't want to talk to anybody or see anyone.

gosh! sound like a loser. maybe really one. cant possibly blame it on luck. just not good enough. unable to compete.

tomorrow is the third interview. hopefully, i dont blow my chance away. praying hard and keeping my finger cross.

oh man, i'm caught in dilemma again.

dar is right. kids below 6 years old are darn cute. when they are beyond the age, they become little monsters!

but i still love kids! i miss my nephew and niece. they are my sunshine! whenever i'm upset or stressed, i'll look forward to see them and play with them. they just never fail to cheer me up =)

my tutee got me upset again =( i simply dont understand why she still doesnt want to do her homework. it's unforgivable if the kid is plain lazy and procrastinate in doing homework. it just got on my nerves when things are not my way and i dont see that i'm able to help her.

i'm going to be complaint queen tomorrow, i swear!

haven been updating my blog for a couple of days. hmm..this week was quite busy. tired but enjoyable =)

before kk left for brunei, we went zouk. yarpz! so rare of me that i would go clubbing but i did. it was mambo night (woohoo!) the music was not bad. being a good girl, i didn't drink cos' i drove and i think it's more fun to club when i'm sober =) always wanted to for phuture cos' it's RnB. this time, i still didn't manage to get in. apparently, the bouncer said that girls were full in phuture so have to go zouk.

i still want to go phuture but with him. don't know why, but when i was clubbing that night, i missed him. i felt lonely and vulnerable without him. what worst is, i felt really bad cos i broke THE keychain when i dropped my phone at the ladies. as it is very significant to me, i went back to look for it. but it cant be found. *sobsob.

qi was quite high so we took care of her. thinking back, i think i'm the luckiest girl because my man took really good care of me when i was super high. oh man! i'm singing praises of him. but yarpz, he is the best i ever have. yesterday was v'day. we went BREAKOUT together. superb! then we had v'day dinner at secret receipe. aiyah, so sad..we didnt take picture. but it's okay. it's all in my head. the thought of him makes me happy. i am always comfortable with him and enjoy every second with him.

i used to not believe in love but somehow after we've met, i believe that in us.

craps! got to go..my dad rushing me to go swimming now. hurhur..when i'm writing the most important part. haha..it's okay lah, they are all in my heart! LOVE

shucks! it's coming back again.

sweat. cold feet. can neither sit nor stand. grouchy. grumpy. easily irritated.

strrRRRrrretch!

came across this article. constructive. very relevant to us (hmm..or rather to me lahz). kinda like a reminder to me. okay, to KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME!

i didn't try to resolve the issue. my aggression had totally took over me. cornered him. no room for negotiation. i forgot that he was my love, i treated him as if he was my rival. in the midst of attacking him, i failed to realise that we are a team.

if you ask me why that sudden outbreak, i'm clueless too. simply complicate matters. confuse myself and made a big hoo-ha out of it. i guess i let the same issue relived and implicate my past feelings into it again.

you kept repeating that you wanted to meet them but i was too deaf to hear you. i felt very selfish because i only wanted my thoughts to be heard aloud. i shut you and your words out. i was very touched when i finally heard you. all i wish for is that you can get really comfortable with them.

it's really all in your mind. they are one of the most understanding couple. they love whoever i love. they know that time is precious to us. weekends are the only time that we can spend together. in fact, they dont want me to stick with them cos it jus means that i'm so undesirable (haha!) as long as you keep me safe, they are happy with it. they are just my doting parents. no fears, okay! =)

"yeeph yuooh ahh anharepee wiiph miee, peelisi thelle miee."

yarp. already. don't know why. don't know what. hate temptittude. uncontrollable. trying hard. failed. disappointment. sick. blogging. again. and again.

right. left. change. better. learn. scared off. but how.

full of pride. let go. sorry. know. fault. apologise. bloody loser.

*NOTE: highly encoded.

i shall not swim on Saturday evenings. it was so crowded that i had to keep pausing to let the little kids splashed water past me. oh man!

was at kukup for the weekend. it wasn't as exciting as the last time. don't really have much to do except ktv-ing, mahjong-ing, fishing and eating. basically, the songs are amazingly retro which i dont feel like singing at all. so yup, i was roaming around the house like a wander ghost (haha!)

then, in the evening, we had fireworks competition. our parents spent around RM850 to buy four fire crackers and boxes of fireworks.

my sis and me (erm okay, my cousin, Stanley)

the sneaky snake getting involved in our fishy business!

peeking into our neighbor's house...

...and his jellyfish

our cute Tricia stamping on poppers!

huat ah!

nort een beeyest orf muoo, jarst nort guwod airt orhall. fiel lieegg aye teairyblee youssless oneder gohoesee!